Lord, so many things rush through my mind as I sit down to read your Word. Calm my spirit Lord, and help me to rest in the knowledge that You will order my day. In the name of Jesus, amen.
We talked about God's never ending love for you and for me. We talked about the fact that He loved us long before we ever became aware of His presence. He accepts our faults even as He helps us become aware of a desire to change. He knew what He was getting into when He created You, and when He called you.
If you are reading this, you have been called to His purpose. Don't freak out. It's o.k. Nothing changes until you ask for change.
Look at all the relationships in your life, in your past. How many did you walk away from when it didn't feel good anymore, when you didn't feel appreciated, approved of, or excited about? Think about the people for whom you turned off the love. Who were they and why did you end the relationship?
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
As humans, there are times when it is loving to ourselves, and ultimately to others, to end a relationship, as long as we are honest about the cause. People can't change if everyone accepts their bad behavior or don't explain what it is they are doing to cause you to move on. That's what people do.
I am so glad that no matter how unloving I have been in my past, God has never had enough of me, and moved on. He feels the same about you!
The fact is, we can't cut off everyone who doesn't please us, or lift us up, or meet our needs all the time. Nor can we bring hurting people to know God's love if we won't accept them where they are at right now.
How can we be in relationship with people "in training?" By setting boundaries.
Boundaries define what we will and will not allow in our relationships. They are enforced not so much with words, but with our responses. When we are teaching a small child, so much of what they pick up is by watching us and observing our responses to their behavior. If I am pleased, I smile. If I do not want a behavior repeated, I say a firm, "No." and show what I want to happen, instead. People learn the same way as adults.
Letting others know our expectations for treatment, showing pleasure when we are treated well, and saying, "No" when we are not (then showing what we expect in the future) goes a long way in strengthening relationships. Like small children, adults will test our boundaries a time or two.
I have found that if I know what I expect, know how I will respond when treated with respect, and how I will respond when I am not treated well, there is no need to argue my case. I do what I say I will do with love, with compassion, and with resolve. People will learn the door is always open as long as respect is maintained.
We all want to be respected. We all gravitate towards people who respect themselves, and respect others.
The next time you are tempted to cut someone out of your life, pray about it first. Ask God to reveal any way you have allowed this behavior, even encouraged it by not addressing it before. Ask for the courage to speak up and make some new boundaries.
No one needs to approve your boundaries, and at first, no one is going to like them, either. Respect yourself enough to stick to your word, and soon others will not only respect you, but will try to follow in your example.
Read James 1:5
"If any of you lacks _________, let him as of God, who gives to all liberally and without approach." NKJV
The wisdom mentioned refers to insight as to how to learn from one's difficulties (Nelson Study Bible Notes)See Proverbs 29:15
""Correction and discipline (or the rod and rebuke) give wisdom." NKJV
Lord, as we begin to help hurting people, we realize that not everyone is going to know how to receive our kindness. We might be mocked, laughed at, or be met with resentment. Give us hearts that see past the anger to the pain. Instead of condescension, help us demonstrate true compassion. Let us help not to show others how helpful we are, but to show others how heart-broken we are for their needs. Give us a sense of self-respect, so we are not at the mercy of other's opinions. Help us stand strong, so others know they can trust us to help them grow. In the name of Jesus, amen.
Love, Karen
Photo by Luisafer, courtesty of http://www.photoxpress.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for your comment.