Are you ready for the rest of the story? Are you ready to choose life?
Let's pray:
Lord, thank you for making it possible for us to be together and pray with each other. Even though I might never meet one person sharing in this study with me, as we read the words, and pray the prayers, time and space ceases to matter because You are in every time, and in every moment. You are with each of us, and in a way, that brings us together. Thank you for giving us eyes to see Your Word, and ears to hear Your Wisdom. In the name of Jesus, amen
Well now, let's begin. I've shared with you the events leading up to a lonely and helpless time in my life. I talked about taking a good look at the way I treated myself, and how I began to care for myself as I would someone I loved. I shared how making myself do a small amount of exercise each day began to spark a sense of pride in my small accomplishment, and give me something to look forward to.
It was good that I could feel the depression beginning to lift, but nothing seemed to affect the ongoing anxiety I was experiencing. I prayed about it everyday, but still the creeping dread was on me the moment I woke up and far into the night.
At one point I got so angry at that anxiety, as if it were a literal being trying to destroy my life. I was reminded of John 10:10. Read it now.
"The thief comes only to ______ and ______ and ______; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (NIV)
The Amplified Version says it this way:
"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."
This spirit of anxiety was trying to steal, kill, and destroy my life and I had built up just enough self-esteem to be good and fed up with it!
I got an even bigger incentive to keep on fighting back when I found out all that extra weight I was carrying, all the stress, and feelings of despair were wreaking havoc on my health. What I learned was, I was pre-diabetic.
It wasn't enough to worry my doctor, but it was like a slap in the face for me. Seeing family members suffer from diabetes meant I knew this was not the future I wanted for me, or for my children.
I realized that even if no one else was concerned, I was, and that had to be enough. For once, I had to protect myself and not wait for someone else to step in and notice I needed help!
I started thinking, "If I were my own patient, and came to me asking what to do about anxiety, what would I tell myself?" Believe it or not, I had an answer.
I used to teach a class while I was a therapist at a psychiatric and substance abuse facility in Georgia, during which I explained to my clients that the physiological signs of anxiety, anger, excitement, even arousal, were all the same. It was our interpretation of the stimulus or cause, that resulted in the label we placed on the subsequent emotion.
Think about it: increased heart rate; faster breathing; release of adrenalin and cortisone, increased blood flow to the extremities, all of which are designed to enable us to fight, take flight, or some other appropriate action.
So, I decided that since I was in no physical danger, I was simply misinterpreting the cause of my emotional response, and if that was the case, I would choose how to interpret my feelings from then on. It was empowering!
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters ... they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God" (Isaiah 43:1-3).
From then on, every time I felt anxiety, from the moment I got up to anytime I felt a surge of that dread come upon me during the day, I told myself that this was a signal from my body that I wanted to move. This was a signal to get up and burn off that energy working out.
I'd walk in place, do some squats, walk around my house, and up and down the stairs, all the while proclaiming my thankfulness for this energy. I began to see it as a gift, believe it or not. I told myself this was going to make me lose weight, get in shape, and get happy, all in one.
I chose to see my anxiety as energy, to see it as a gift instead of a curse, and that made all the difference. I decided that spirit of anxiety wasn't going to outsmart me one more day. It might have got me down for a while, but I was going to fight back, and I was going to win!
I started out with five minutes of exercise at a time, because that's all I could do. Even though I was already doing some push-ups, sit-ups and squats, I still had to build up my wind. It took some time, but I didn't give up. After a few months, I realized I didn't feel so anxious anymore. I felt powerful.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)
After nearly a year, I had lost almost 40 lbs. And I wasn't afraid anymore.
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wing's as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)
God says, "Choose life." I do.
Let's pray:
Father, I am so thankful that You kept giving me answers, until I was ready to hear them. Thank you for helping me find strength in myself, instead of waiting to be rescued by others. I pray that every one reading these words finds the strength in themselves, that You have placed there, waiting there, to be discovered. Give us the courage to choose life! In the name of Jesus, amen.
Love, Karen
Photo by JScreationzs, courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net
Bible verses on anxiety.
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