Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Change your words; change your life!


Free event! 

#brainretraining, #womeninministry, #NLP, #hiddenlanguagecodes, #pastoralcounseling, #renewingyourmind, #womenbodybuilding, #neuroplasticity, #workshops, #alexandria, #minnesotaevents, #thingstodoinalexandria, #spiritlifechurch, #wedsnightevents, #goodchurch, #language, #changeyourlife, #words, #goodcounselor, #goodlifecoach, #onlinechristiancounseling, #onlinelifecoach, #femaleauthors, #selfhelp, #speakers, #christianauthors, #christianpastors, #christiancounseling, #christiancouplescounseling, #christianteencounselor, #christianchildrenscounselor, #loseweightforgood 

Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Are you living in grace or in slavery to your church?

 Does Grace mean we don't have to or shouldn't want to go to church?

It depends on the church. In Galatians Paul wants us to understand that gathering together as believers is meant to enable us to celebrate our freedom and mature in our faith and personality. Is that what's happening in your church?

However, as Mark D. Baker points out in his book, Freedom From Religiosity and Judgmentalism, we tend to take the rules and practices of following Jesus and turn them into bonded group religion, with definite standards for who's in and who's out (pg. 49). It's not just about creating and following rules, it's that "spiritual forces enslave us through turning rules and laws into ways of seeking status with God and humans and into judging and excluding others" (pg. 49). 

God's gift of grace is for every person who believes - even before they have fully understood or responded to or been transformed from all forms of sin. We place ourselves in judgment of who is a "real" Christian and who is not good enough - yet - since they haven't done the things we believe mark someone who's "in" our group or meets our standards.

Grace is a free gift. You do nothing to earn it. Baker says, "While there are "proper, reciprocal responses to the gift of grace, Paul [in Ephesians] did not believe there were preconditions required to receive the gift of grace (pg. 68).

Speaking of which, Western culture resists making any connections between God's grace and expectations or reciprocity, a return gift or action, but that is neither the historical response to a gift, nor is it considered polite even in Western society (pg. 63). There is a proper response to a gift which is at the minimum a verbal or, even better, written thank you and at the most, a return gift of equal or greater value. 

God's Grace deserves a response as well. At the minimum an appreciation and an attitude of gratitude to God, and the actions or behaviors that reflect that appreciation for the gravity or importance of the gift.

But, that's another post and I don't want you to then go into the legalism of the "right" response. Let's let Grace simmer a little on the mental stove, first. 

God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you, Dr. Karen

#gratitude #freedom #religion #womeninministry #brainretraining #MarkDBaker #Freedomfromreligiosityandjudgmentalism #liddell

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Wednesday, April 19, 2023

When kids don't forgive

This is for kids and their parents (who used to be kids). It's an excerpt from the 2nd Edition of Brain Retrain: The How-To Renew Your Mind Guide.

Your parents may never recognize how they’ve hurt you. They may never apologize. But, if you’re a believer, forgiving them is non-negotiable (Matthew 6:15, NKJV). 

Forgiveness frees you from taking up mental real estate with feeling bad about your past with them and allows God to take that burden on your behalf. 

He knows what to do and when to do it. He can do something about what you can do nothing about. Take what you wish your parents would do, and do it for your own kids. 

Apologize when they say you’ve hurt them. They’re not saying you meant it (and if they do - forgive them if they’re mistaken). They’re saying they had an experience they associate with you, so just tell them you’re sorry without explaining, justifying, denying, or minimizing. 

That’s all they want to hear and what will help them heal: “I’m so sorry I hurt you.” It’s not about your memory, intentions, or reasons - it’s about acknowledging their experience so they can be heard or seen and move on - in their timeline, not yours.

If you sincerely apologize and your kids don’t let it go, keep the door open while you give them space. Ask God to remove any root of bitterness and to heal all wounds (Hebrews 12:15, ESV). 

Finally, permit yourself to feel joy, even if everything isn’t resolved. Sometimes others more easily move on when they see we’ve made steps in that direction ourselves.

Order your 2nd Edition soon (God willing) from thebrainretrain.com or from Amazon.com.

#Dr.KarenLiddell, #thebrainretrain, #womeninministry, #forgiveness, #God, #parents #mykidswon'ttalktome, #teenanger, #agingparents, #healing, #renewyourmind

Friday, April 7, 2023

Shut up, sit down, and listen to the Holy Spirit, or, advice I need to hear.

 "Everyone who commits (practices) sin is guilty of lawlessness; for [that is what] sin is, lawlessness (the breaking, violating of God's law by transgression or neglect—being unrestrained and unregulated by His commands and His will)." John 3:4, AMPC

I knew the first part, that sin violates God's law - but the second? 

Sin is also living unrestrained and unregulated by His commands and His will. Ouch.

Sure, that could mean acting like a fool, partying, and running wild. But, what about doing what I want when I want to without asking God if it's His best, in His Will, or pleasing to His Holy Spirit - my true life partner. 

Well, Who else do believers truly do life with? He's the One who has humbled Himself to live inside me to love, care for, and, most relevantly - guide me. 

"So now we serve not under [obedience to] the old code of written regulations, but [under obedience to the promptings] of the Spirit in newness [of life]." Romans 7:6b, AMPC

Look, I'm not talking about being afraid to decide or say a word without God's say-so. 

I mean pushing forward with an action, statement, or behavior that I know isn't the most pleasing Spiritually, but I'm feeling tempted, hangry, like I deserve it, or the all-important - I've got to make it happen (like Sarah) and take the feel-good now over the wait-and-let-it-pass. 

Thankfully, God understands and, true to form, He's already provided the way out:

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV

Fun fact: temptation lasts an average of 3 minutes. Come on, we can do anything for 3 minutes!

We can pray, drink a glass of water, and ask ourselves what the likely outcome of our decision is, then - we can choose. 

While I can bet neither you nor I bumble it every day, I've done it enough that I've learned the hard way - plowing ahead often results in feeling embarrassed and/or needing to repent. 

It's that "Why, oh why, don't I learn?" feeling that Paul talks about:

"For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot perform it. [I have the intention and urge to do what is right but no power to carry it out.]

For I fail to practice the good deeds I desire to do, but the evil deeds that I do not desire to do are what I am [ever] doing.

Now if I do what I do not desire to do, it is no longer I doing it [it is not myself that acts], but the sin [principle] which dwells within me [[c]fixed and operating in my soul]." Romans 7:18-20, AMCP

But what can we do about it? Are we helpless? Is there any hope, or is God shaking His head, ready to cast us aside because there's just no teaching us? 

"O unhappy and pitiable and wretched man that I am! Who will release and deliver me from [the shackles of] this body of death?

O thank God! [He will!] through Jesus Christ (the Anointed One) our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25a, AMPC


Well, If you've got a better way - please let me know, but if not, try mine: 

I'm starting to know myself enough that I pray in advance, asking God to help me be more sensitive to His Holy Spirit before I go into situations where I want to please people, push myself forward, get my own way, or go to the front of the line. 

But for me, that's not enough. That's right, you might be less driven by your unconscious, but I've also got to recognize temptation at the moment, while it's a thought and before it births action (James 1:14-15) - then pray again for God to help me take the way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13)

That usually means to stop talking, stay put, or sit down.

Now, if you know how I roll, you've anticipated I've started brain retraining on this issue. See, I can tell when I need help - when I start noticing a bad habit happening more often than not. It's the Holy Spirit showing me another layer I need to address. 

So, I ask myself questions like, "When do I usually do this; how do I feel when it happens; what triggers me, how did I learn to do this or that I needed to," and, importantly, "What do I want to feel and do instead?" 

For many of us, that's the final key - taking care of the unconscious resources we're responding to and feeling unable to control. 

Those learned programs trying to keep us safe or ensure our needs are met must be healed so that we can hear and respond to the Holy Spirit within.

Neither of us is alone in this. If you need more help, reach out. We can do this together. 

www.thebrainretrain.com        thebrainretrain@gmail.com

#thebrainretrain, #dr.karenliddell, #womeninministry, #neuroplasticity, #christiancounselor, #christiancounseling, #stopsinning, #bookofJohn, #HolySpirit

Friday, December 30, 2022

If you're going to be a hater, hate what God hates

 We waste a lot of time and energy hating people for their looks, attitudes, choices, beliefs, clothing, tattoos, and piercings - you get it. I'd rather love people and stop doing anything God hates. Let's look at the log in our own eyes instead of pointing out the splinter in theirs.

"There are six things the Lord hates - no, seven things he detests: 

haughty eyes,

a lying tongue, 

hands that kill the innocent, 

a heart that plots evil, 

feet that race to do wrong, 

a false witness who pours out lies,
a person who sows discord in a family." 
Proverbs 6:16-19, NLT

"'And let none of you devise or even imagine evil in your heart against another, and do not love lying or half-truths; for all these things I hate,’ declares the Lord.” Zechariah 8:17, AMP

"The Lord detests the use of dishonest scales, but he delights in accurate weights." Proverbs 11:1, NLT

"Neither shall you set up an idolatrous stone or image, which the Lord your God hates." Deuteronomy 16:22, AMPC

Let's resolve to hate what God hates this year, and love people.

#thebrainretrain, #womeninministry, #dr.karenliddell, #hate, #God, #Bible, #liars, #beliefs, #Christian, #renewingyourmind,

Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Dr. Andrew Huberman taught me the newest and best way to rewire your bra...

#hubermanlab, #brainretrain, #renewingyourmind, #dr.karenliddell, #happinesscoach #happiness #gratitudepractice #gratefulthankfulblessed #christianlife #christiancounseling #christiancoach #womeninministry

Monday, November 22, 2021

God blesses the humble so how do I become humble

I've been studying "waiting on the Lord," which led to my usual rabbit trail towards how to be humble (not pretend to be humble, because I am a pretty confident buoyant person so I want to know the difference) which led to meekness.

A.T. Pierson commented that meekness is a true preference for God's will. Truly desiring to know what does God want in this situation, and truly waiting on Him to discover it - if it is not obvious knowing God as you do - and then having zero struggle to do that instead of what I want to do and would gratify my limited understanding of all the facts.

Dallas Willard said, God will give us humility (Oh thank God, He can give it to me versus me struggling for it) IF - here it comes - we trust Him and wait for Him to act on our behalf, and IF we stop pretending to be what we claim to be and know we are not, and as a result presume some favorable position is ours and push for it or try to override the will of others...

Do you know what was humbling (humility-giving) to me? God speaking to us, or giving us supernatural experiences, does not prove we are right, righteous or make us important. It doesn't even guarantee we heard Him right. "God's purpose is not to merely support us, or make us look or feel secure in our roles, or confirm we are right." Dallas Willard.

We already are important - to Him. Stop trying to be important (preaching to myself) and simply sit in awe that you are important as is. Is God important to you - not what He gives us or does for us, is He important to you as is? Are you in awe and have a little bit of respectful downright sense of fear that the maker of heaven and earth has a purpose for you and it might or might not result in other people thinking you are important?

If so, simply pray, "Lord, what is important to you today, and please give me the humility to desire that above and beyond anything I would have thought is a better use of my time, in the name of Jesus my Savior, amen." 

www.thebrainretrain.com     www.onlinechristiancoaching.com

#God, #humble, #brainretrain, #renewingyourmind, #christiancounselingandcoaching, #importance, #righteousness, #meek, #meekinherittheearth, #Godopposestheproud, #dallaswillard, #a.t.pierson, #dr.karenliddell