Wednesday, April 12, 2017

What makes a lasting marriage?

A survey studied 351 couples to find out what makes a good marriage. Each individual responded to 39 statements identifying characteristics which matched their own marriage experience. Here are the top characteristics each gave, in order of frequency. Notice anything about the top 7 reasons? 


Husbands                                 Wives


My spouse is my best friend                       My spouse is my best friend
I like my spouse as a person                       I like my spouse as a person
Marriage is a long-term commitment         Marriage is a long-term commitment
Marriage is sacred                                      Marriage is sacred
We agree on aims and goals                       We agree on aims and goals
My spouse has grown more interesting      My spouse has grown more interesting
I want the relationship to succeed              I want the relationship to succeed
An enduring marriage is important to        We laugh together                                                                 social stability                                                                            
We laugh together                                       We agree on the philosophy of life
I am proud of my spouse's achievements   We agree on how and how often to show                                              affection        
We agree on the philosophy of life             An enduring marriage is important to                                      social stability
We agree about our sex life                       We have a stimulating exchange of ideas
We agree on how and how often to            We discuss things calmly  
show affection                                                             .
I confide in my spouse                                We agree about our sex life
We share outside hobbies and interests      I am proud of my spouse's achievements                                                                                                                  

                       
Just for fun: Write the characteristics in random order, then re-order them based on which characteristics you believe most important, and ask your spouse to do the same. Share your answers and learn something new about one another!

Adapted from The Premarital Counseling Handbook, H. Norman Wright.
If you'd like more information about marriage, Temperament, or to arrange counseling by Skype or phone, please contact me at dr.karenwinkelman@gmail.com