I'm reading Michael Van Vlymen's powerful book, Violent Prayer for your Adult Children. It's about using powerful, effectual, fervent, steadfast, relentless, fearless and unwavering prayer over our children, even after they enter adulthood and we can't be there physically to protect them or limit their access to dangers. That can feel pretty powerless.
They have free will, and now they have the legal right to exercise it even if it goes against everything we tried to teach them and instill in them. Scary thoughts!
We are not helpless and we do not need to live in fear - but instead access the Holy Spirit of power, love and a sound mind~2 Timothy 1:7
God also has a will and while He is not not going to violate our children's will, BUT many miracles happen when we agree with God over our children. He knows all the ins and all the people who can help our children, He sends angels to encourage and often protect them some of the consequences of their poor choices, etc.
Know what we can pray for as parents and go boldly before the throne of God declaring that we desire His will to be done, in our children. Then praise Him and watch for the miracles - even if they don't happen this day, or this year, or for some this decade, use your faith and believe they are on the way and internal changes are happening that we will see externally at some point.
Pray the following every day with thanksgiving and gratitude that God agrees with you, and don't break the agreement by doubting if you personally don't see the changes you want when you want them.
God knows the plans He has for your children, and He will bring them about if there is anyway to work it in their will, and God knows all the ways and doors - trust Him and His perfect timing, He knows the outcome of all possibilities.
2 Peter 3:8-9 The Passion Translation
So, dear friends, don’t let this one thing escape your notice: a single day counts like a thousand years to the Lord Yahweh, and a thousand years counts as one day. This means that, contrary to man’s perspective, the Lord is not late with his promise to return, as some measure lateness. But rather, his “delay” simply reveals his loving patience toward you, because He does not want any to perish but all to come to repentance.
Isaiah 54:13 And all your children shall be disciples [taught by the Lord and obedient to His will], and great shall be the peace and undisturbed composure of your children.
What He does for one He will do for any of us:
Acts 10:34 I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism TPT
Ask God how to specifically pray for your children and be sensitive to "hearing" Him or getting a word of knowledge from reading the Bible with that intention in mind, or listening to sound preaching or sometimes a Christian friend will say something without realizing they are answering your prayer for insight. Expect answers.
In the meantime pray the following, pray it with authority, just because they are legally grown does not mean you can not take authority spiritually; pray relentlessly and tenaciously, daily until the prayer is realized; and pray your children see the Truth being the choices they make.
1. Pray God's will is done in their lives now just as it is done in heaven Luke 11:1-4; 1 John 5:14
2. Pray beginning with worship, praise God who can work all things for your children's good Romans 8:28 - don't just cry and plead (although that can really get His attention too because He cares for us as His own children and His heart breaks for our needs (Genesis 16:11; 29:31; Psalm 34:18; 36:5-7; 100:4; 107:1; Romans 8:32; Philippians 4:6) Get into the right and thankful attitude about who it is we pray to.
3. Meditate on Scripture that reminds you Who He is and what He does as well as our role (Matthew 7:11; Philippians 4:8; 2 Corinthians 10:5, John 3:16; Romans 8:32; Deuteronomy 4:31; Lamentations 3:22-23; Psalm 36:5-7; Psalm 139 the whole thing but especially 1-8 and 16)
4. Start by imagining and deciding to put on the whole armor of God Ephesians 6:11-17
5. Be honest about your own intention, desires, possible manipulation for our own purposes - happens to all of us. (Psalm 66:18, 139:23-24;
6. Pray against and bind the true enemy (John 10:10; Ephesians 6:11-17
7. Pray like you mean it (declare and decree it just like your Father does, for you are made in His image) and expect it to be accomplished based on the above (Proverbs 18:21; Mark 11:23; Psalm 2:7; Romans 10:9; Isaiah 54:17)
Isaiah 54:17 I declare on the authority of God's word that no weapon formed against my child shall prosper.
Isaiah 55:1 Gods Word has been spoken over my child and I declare that His Word goes out from His mouth and it shall not return to Him void but it shall accomplish what God pleases and it shall prosper into the thing for which He sent it.
Matthew 18:18 What I declare is in agreement with the Word of God and therefore whatever I bind on earth (sin, addiction, rebellion, lying, etc.) shall be bound in heaven and whatever I loose on earth (God's promises, the fruit of the Holy Spirit, etc. in our children) shall be loosed in heaven.
You might go into many declarations and assertions based on Scripture:
"I been the enemy from coming into try house. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord!"
"I bind the work of the enemy in my child's life. I bind spiritual apathy."
"I loose goodness and mercy upon my children!"
"I loose the Blessings of God on my family!"
"I loose my children from the lusts of this world!"
"I bind the voice of the enemy from speaking to my children."
"I bind ungodly and destructive friendships from my children's lives."
"I loose my family from ungodly desires."
"I rebuke the devil, just as Jesus showed me in Matthew 17:18 and devil you must flee!" Also Luke 10:17
I bind sickness of the body and mind and loose health and healing in my children with the authority given to me in James 5:14 and Mark 16:17-18
If you are in Christ, then you are covered by His blood price, in His family, part of His bride and Church, His child, and you have the authority to do as He did in His name.
I encourage you to get in the word, highlight Scripture you can declare over your children and pray to the One who actually can get a word into them. For more ideas and specific prayers, get Michael Van Vlymen's book on his website