Out with the old, in with the new . . .you!

Welcome back to Stress Less: A Good Bible Study. I'm glad you are on this journey with me. Share in the comments, or in an email, how this bible study has impacted your faith walk. It would mean a lot to me to hear your story.

Let's pray:

Lord, thank you so very much for leading us to meet every day and share in Your Word. What a blessing it is to fellowship with others, no matter where their belief is. Thank you for each person reading these words. Bless them today, Lord. Help them to grow closer to You every time they open Your Word. Please relax our minds now and let Your Holy Spirit open our eyes to Your Wisdom, as we begin. In Jesus' name, amen.

I promised you yesterday to share how valuing yourself leads you to naturally make choices that improve your life. The truth is that when you begin to care about yourself, truly decide to be loving to yourself, and value how you spend the 24 hours in each day at your disposal, you will find you no longer are attracted to people who run you down, drain you, criticize you, or waste your time.

You will be more attracted to, and in turn bring in, those people who lift you up and energize you. Your emotional energy just won't match up with those naysayers anymore and they will fall away. Some of them might even notice how much more pleasant and positive you are, and will start to emulate you. Either way, you will naturally move away from negative influences and rise to a new level of friends and companions.

Can you see how this will make your life feel far less stressful? __________

Read Proverbs 12:25-26

What causes anxiety? ____________________

What makes your heart glad? _____________

What happens when you choose negative, mean-spirited friends? __________________________

How about Proverbs 16:27-30

Know anyone like that: those who dig up evil, sow strife, whisper and gossip about others, entice others to bad choices, or treat "friends" perversely, which means starts trouble and fights between them?

I used to draw those types of people to me like a moth to a flame, back in my twenties. They always seemed like the most fun-filled, exciting friends, at first. Like Mr. Wickham, in Pride and Prejudice, they had the happy manners as to ensure their making friends, but it was less certain whether they were equally capable of retaining them.

I used to worry that if I was myself, I would lose friends. May be you worry about that, too. You know what I say to that? Good, I hope you do.

What I mean is that when you are authentic, you will draw people to you who enjoy, love, admire, cherish, and adore your true, authentic self, and those that don't . . . so long . . . seeeee ya.

Dr. Seuss said it best: "Go ahead and be yourself. Those who mind don't matter, and those that matter, don't mind."

Do you think surrounding yourself with people who just get happy being around you, being you, would lead to stressing less? You bet it does!

Self-Value = Stress-Less

Tomorrow I am going to share with you a technique you can use to immediately tell if you, or someone else, is being authentic. It's pretty fun to do with friends. I use this in my talks and it's hard to get everyone settled down again because they are laughing too hard.

Let's end in prayer:

Lord, thank you for opening our eyes to the fact that we can be ourselves and others will appreciate it. Some of us haven't seen our authentic selves since we were kids so we might be a little up and down for a while until we get used to the new and improved, er, original "me." We ask you to make this an easy and inevitable process. Help us to celebrate who You created! In the name of Jesus, amen.

Love, Karen 

Photo by Adam Borkowski, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

Is value the same as conceit?

Hello, and welcome back to A Good Bible Study!

We're going to begin with prayer, as usual:

Dear Heavenly Father, life is so busy. We are all going so fast, in so many different directions, sometimes it is hard to slow down and hear Your voice. Make us sensitive to Your slightest whisper, Lord. We are so thankful for Your Holy Spirit's constant ministry to our hearts, we don't want to miss a single thought You have for us! In the name of Jesus, amen.

We are going to continue with the importance of valuing who you are. We're not talking conceit, here. The American Heritage Dictionary defines value as "to regard highly, to esteem."

Conceit, on the other hand, refers to an unduly high opinion of one's self.

So, I'm not talking about valuing yourself more than anyone else. And I'm not suggesting you refuse to change your bad habits because, "Well, this is just the way I am, if you don't like it, oh well."

What I'm saying is that you are just as valuable as anyone else - and for some of us, that's a new concept.

The fact is you have intrinsic value because you are created in the image of God and you don't have to earn your intrinsic value - it's yours by birthright!

Read 1 John 4:19

Who loved first, you or God? __________

Read Psalm 139:14

How are you made? ___________ and ______________

So, let's agree to stop worrying about what Fred and Jane think because they might like us today and hate us tomorrow. People judge you based on effort, outcome, and results. God judges you on your heart. Do you love Him, or do you hate Him? It's that simple. He asks you to love Him. Will you?

Read Revelation 3:20

Can you doubt that He wants you, just as you are, right now?

Valuing yourself reduces stress because you will also value your time and your contribution. You'll make the effort and time you spend worth it. You will do the right thing, and do things right.

You will do the right thing, and do things right, when you value yourself.

As a result, you will feel more positive about yourself, it's a self-fulfilling chain of events.

Think of it this way: if you know you did your best, and you know you are proud of your work, you won't worry about anyone else's opinion. I don't mean be disrespectful to those offering constructive criticism, I mean you won't have a need to be defensive or make excuses, because you stand behind your work.

Tomorrow we will talk about the other ways being authentic and valuing yourself leads to more positive choices and outcomes, but for now, let's pray.

Lord, some of this is new and challenging to us. We know You want us to respect and love the work of Your hands. Help us to see ourselves with Your eyes, and to see others with the same value. We want to believe with all our hearts that You treasure us just as You designed each one. Thank you for the daily changes You are making in our hearts, so that we can. In Jesus' name, amen.

Love, Karen

Photo by Nathalie P, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

Change starts in the heart

Welcome back to A Good Bible Study. Our current topic is how to "Stress less" by yours truly.

Let's pick up where we left off yesterday, loving ourselves as God loves us. First, let's pray:

Father, we are so blessed to have Your Word. There are Christians in this world who don't have access to a bible, who might be imprisoned or killed just for reading Your Scripture, yet here we are openly sharing our faith, and our desire to know You more. Let not one of us take this privilege for granted, Lord. I pray you will astound us with Your presence today so that we will have an awakening of our spiritual selves,  may be for the first time. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit, Lord. Give us an undeniable sense of You, in us. In Jesus' name, amen.

I shared with you quite a few scriptures showcasing God's love for each of us, you included. I want you to be immersed in the evidence of His concern for you, no matter what has happened in your life. The reason I do this is that before we can even get into who you can be in Christ, or what you can do in His strength, we have got to get a solid foundation in who you are in your hearts.

Why? Because change starts in the heart.

Read Proverbs 23:7

Right there, plain as day, it says as you think in your ______, you are.

See, change doesn't start in the head, it starts in the heart. That's where we live and die everyday, when we're walking around hurting and pretending we're not. When we're saying yes when we mean no. When we are trying to be our idea of the perfect spouse, parent, employee, communicator, rescuer, whatever label people have slapped on your forehead and you are trying to live up to, but always feeling like you don't measure up.

You don't. Know why? Because that's not the mold you were made from. It's not you and that's why it doesn't feel right on your skin.

Dr. Howard Thurman started the first inter-racial church in the United States. He deeply influenced Dr. Martin Luther King. Dr. Thurman said, "We were all born originals. The tragedy is that most of us die copies."

Your DNA is unique only to you.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you."

Psalm 139:13-16 says

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day." The Message
 
Pastor Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, wrote, "Your parents may not have planned you, but God did." Albert Einstein said, "God doesn't play dice." He doesn't do anything by chance.

If you get even a tiny glimpse of how much God loves you, that is when you will begin to value yourself. How do I know? Because people who value themselves arrange their lives to be pleasant and stress-free. It becomes a priority to live in peace and with joy!

Let's pray:

Father, I want everyone reading this to begin to value themselves, the way You value them. I shout this prayer to heaven, in the name of Jesus, amen!

Love, Karen

Photo by Gary, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

He loves you, yea, yea, yea

Hello fellow seekers,

I missed you yesterday after a long weekend fellow-shipping with some awesome, spirit-filled believers in Chicago, but we are together again now, so let's rejoice in pray:

Lord, I thank you for every person in this world who knows You are God, You are the Lord, and You are the answer to any question in our hearts. I thank you for every hurting heart that is still wondering if you are real, and I ask You to reveal Yourself in an awe-inspiring way to each on of us.

Give us a sense of wonder at Your love for us. Make us be more aware than ever of how unique, special, and important we are to You. Fill our hearts with joy today, Lord, in the way only Your Holy Spirit can. Let our hearts be still, and know that You are God. In the name of Jesus, amen.

OK, I am ready to dive in and see how wondrous this God of ours is, how about you?

We spoke last time about learning to appreciate ourselves, just as we are right now. We talked about the importance of being authentic, being real and genuine. The truth is, we can't be it, until we know it.

Because all true change begins in the heart. Everything you do in life is going to be far more effective and meaningful if you start by changing the way you see yourself, and the way you treat yourself. The first belief that must change if you are going to develop true joy in being who you are, is this:

The false belief that your worth is the sum of what you have done for others, the result you have created by your efforts, and the stamp of approval, or disapproval, that's been placed on your psychological forehead.

Read John 5:41-44

41"I do not accept praise from _____, 42but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of _____ in your hearts. 43I have come in my Father's name, and you do not ______me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. 44How can you _______if you accept ______ from one another, yet make no effort to ________the praise that comes from the only God?" New International Version

See, we put more stock in fallible human being's opinions of us, than we do of God's opinion of us! That's backwards. People don't save our souls, God does by the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Who among your family and friends is willing to undergo what Jesus has for you? They might love you, they might be willing to die for you in a crisis, but think of taking on all of your sin, allowing yourself to be whipped until your flesh hung from your body, then crucified on a cross with spikes pounded through your wrists and ankles while being mocked and spit upon. No takers?

I care about the opinion of the one who not only planned me down to my DNA, made me, watched over me, protected me from all manner of harm that I put myself in, sent His Holy Spirit to speak to my heart daily, gives me wisdom and insight, comforts me when no human can, and has set aside a place in heaven for me to live for eternity in peace and joy. That's someone whose opinion I put above all others.

Read these scriptures:

John 3:16

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

1 John 4:9-12
By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has beheld God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.

John 13:34-35
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.


He loves you. Got it? I know that guy told you he loved you then treated you like dirt, I know that woman cheated on you and laughed at your pain, I know your father or mother didn't know how to parent you, I know those "friends" abused you, I know you can't call anyone sister or brother, I know.

And I know that He loves you.

Come back tomorrow to start learning to love you, too.

Love, Karen

Photo by iMAGINE, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

The first key to stressing LESS

Hello and welcome back to A Good Bible Study. Let's pray and get right into the Word of God.

Our Father, who lives in heaven, and in our hearts, Your name is holy on our lips. Let Your kingdom rein in me, let Your will be done in me, let me be so malleable to Your will that I respond instantly to Your voice, just as the angels do in heaven. Take care of my needs today, Lord, and help me to have a soft, forgiving heart, like Yours. Go before me Lord, and remove obstacles for me. Let any evil plan formed against me whither and die before it reaches my awareness. For to You belongs this Kingdom, from You comes all Power, and You alone deserve any Glory in this world, or beyond. Thank you Father. In Jesus' name, amen.

During this bible study, I will share with you the three most important keys I have found to reduce stress, and increase joy and satisfaction in life. The first key is called Authenticate.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines authentic as: conforming to fact, and therefore worthy of trust, reliance, or belief.

Do you conform to the fact of who you are inside, and as such do you inspire others to trust you, rely on you, and believe in you?

Living your life authentically means being genuinely who you are, at all times. Sounds easier than it is, if you have been raised to please others at all costs, or tend to feel you don't measure up just as you are. Don't worry. By the time we are through with this study you will have a much more accurate picture of your value both to God, to yourself, and to those around you.

How many of you grew up with all the affirmation you needed to feel valued and loved, all the experiences you needed to develop confidence and competency, all the opportunity you craved to allow your creativity to flourish? Anyone . . . . anyone . . . . anyone. (If you ever watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, you got that.)

I'd be surprised to hear back from more than a tiny handful. That's just not how most of us were brought up because we are each raised not by perfect individuals with whole hearts and complete agape (self-less) love. No, you and I were raised by fallible human beings doing the best they could with the knowledge, resources, and inner strength that they possessed at the time. Bummer.

Guess what, we are raising our children with some of the same problems. Scary.

The good news is that children are able to respond very quickly to a change in our behavior and attitude. They want the best of us and from us, and will accept a new, improved me and you with ease. Other people might take a little time, but believe me, the best way to change the way someone treats you, is to change the way you treat you. All in good time.

Open your bibles to Genesis chapter 1, and read it all the way through.

Do you see that God created more and more complex and wonderful life each day. What did God create on each day?

Day one _________________
Day two _________________
Day three ________________
Day four _________________
Day five__________________

So, He created everything with less intelligence, capability, and creativity in the first six days, saving the best for last. His "p`iece de r'esistance."

Read verse 27.

In whose image were man and woman made? _______________
Strong's Concordance identifies the word image, used in this passage, as the Hebrew word tselem, which means just that: image or resemblance.

Is God unworthy, untalented, lacking, un-lovable, strange, boring, less-than? ______

If you are created in the image, the likeness of God, a resemblance of God Himself, how can you be anything except wonderful? Not a vain, self-centered, arrogant sort of wonderful. But think of it. You and I were designed from the beginning from the "form or molding" of God.

Read verse 31.

"And God saw everything He had made, and indeed it was very ___________. NKJV

Let's pray.

Father, I am so thankful to know that I am not an accident, not some random spark of genetic mutation that somehow created a chain of events leading to me. When I look at myself from now on, let me be fully aware that I am looking at the image of God, no less than when I look at my parents, or my siblings, or my cousins, that I am looking at the image of my family. I might have my parent's features, but I have my Father's genetic design. When others look at me now, I pray they see the family resemblance to You. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Folks, I have an assignment for you tomorrow, that is very important. Instead of reading this study, I want you to get your bible and look up all the verses you can find in which God expresses His value, love, appreciation, or pleasure in humans. Write them down so when you are feeling less-than, you can remind yourself of the truth.

I encourage you to share with each of us in this study, through the comments, what verses mean the most to you. You can just post the verse itself if you do not want to elaborate. Let's learn from one another.

Until Monday,

Love, Karen

Photo by ENTER_DESIGN, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

Choose life

Welcome back to A Good Bible Study!

Are you ready for the rest of the story? Are you ready to choose life?

Let's pray:

Lord, thank you for making it possible for us to be together and pray with each other. Even though I might never meet one person sharing in this study with me, as we read the words, and pray the prayers, time and space ceases to matter because You are in every time, and in every moment. You are with each of us, and in a way, that brings us together. Thank you for giving us eyes to see Your Word, and ears to hear Your Wisdom. In the name of Jesus, amen

Well now, let's begin. I've shared with you the events leading up to a lonely and helpless time in my life. I talked about taking a good look at the way I treated myself, and how I began to care for myself as I would someone I loved. I shared how making myself do a small amount of exercise each day began to spark a sense of pride in my small accomplishment, and give me something to look forward to.

It was good that I could feel the depression beginning to lift, but nothing seemed to affect the ongoing anxiety I was experiencing. I prayed about it everyday, but still the creeping dread was on me the moment I woke up and far into the night.

At one point I got so angry at that anxiety, as if it were a literal being trying to destroy my life. I was reminded of John 10:10. Read it now.

"The thief comes only to ______ and ______ and ______; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (NIV)


The Amplified Version says it this way:

"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." 

This spirit of anxiety was trying to steal, kill, and destroy my life and I had built up just enough self-esteem to be good and fed up with it!
 
I got an even bigger incentive to keep on fighting back when I found out all that extra weight I was carrying, all the stress, and feelings of despair were wreaking havoc on my health. What I learned was, I was pre-diabetic.


It wasn't enough to worry my doctor, but it was like a slap in the face for me. Seeing family members suffer from diabetes meant I knew this was not the future I wanted for me, or for my children.

I realized that even if no one else was concerned, I was, and that had to be enough. For once, I had to protect myself and not wait for someone else to step in and notice I needed help!

I started thinking, "If I were my own patient, and came to me asking what to do about anxiety, what would I tell myself?" Believe it or not, I had an answer.
 
I used to teach a class while I was a therapist at a psychiatric and substance abuse facility in Georgia, during which I explained to my clients that the physiological signs of anxiety, anger, excitement, even arousal, were all the same. It was our interpretation of the stimulus or cause, that resulted in the label we placed on the subsequent emotion.
 
Think about it: increased heart rate; faster breathing; release of adrenalin and cortisone, increased blood flow to the extremities, all of which are designed to enable us to fight, take flight, or some other appropriate action.
 
So, I decided that since I was in no physical danger, I was simply misinterpreting the cause of my emotional response, and if that was the case, I would choose how to interpret my feelings from then on. It was empowering!
 
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters ... they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God" (Isaiah 43:1-3).


From then on, every time I felt anxiety, from the moment I got up to anytime I felt a surge of that dread come upon me during the day, I told myself that this was a signal from my body that I wanted to move. This was a signal to get up and burn off that energy working out.
 
I'd walk in place, do some squats, walk around my house, and up and down the stairs, all the while proclaiming my thankfulness for this energy. I began to see it as a gift, believe it or not. I told myself this was going to make me lose weight, get in shape, and get happy, all in one.
 
I chose to see my anxiety as energy, to see it as a gift instead of a curse, and that made all the difference. I decided that spirit of anxiety wasn't going to outsmart me one more day. It might have got me down for a while, but I was going to fight back, and I was going to win!
 
I started out with five minutes of exercise at a time, because that's all I could do. Even though I was already doing some push-ups, sit-ups and squats, I still had to build up my wind. It took some time, but I didn't give up. After a few months, I realized I didn't feel so anxious anymore. I felt powerful.
 
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)


After nearly a year, I had lost almost 40 lbs. And I wasn't afraid anymore.
 
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wing's as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)
 
God says, "Choose life." I do.


Let's pray:
 
Father, I am so thankful that You kept giving me answers, until I was ready to hear them. Thank you for helping me find strength in myself, instead of waiting to be rescued by others. I pray that every one reading these words finds the strength in themselves, that You have placed there, waiting there, to be discovered. Give us the courage to choose life! In the name of Jesus, amen.
 
Love, Karen
 
Photo by JScreationzs, courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net
 
Bible verses on anxiety.

The second step in overcoming depression and reducing stress

Hello again. It's good to see you here in A Good Bible Study.

Did you enjoy your weekend break? It's good to take that time off for the Sabbath, or the "rest" and just re-charge. Let's get started with prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, we bow our heads before You and thank You for providing us with Your Word. Please clear our thoughts, Lord, so we can spend this time with You, instead of our distractions. Open your Word to us and fill our minds with Your wisdom, and our hearts with Your love. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Let's read Proverbs 3:6 together. "________ Him and He will make your paths __________."

Last time we met, I told you about my becoming so downtrodden and depressed, I started giving up on myself and just making it through the day for my family's sake. A couple of things sparked hope in me, or at least a desire to help myself.

One was my sister's visit and her observations about the way I did not treat myself with value. I realized no one else would treat me with value, if I didn't show them how. I had to do it first.

After that, I went out and hit some sales and bought myself some clothes that fit me right then, not for when I lost weight. I also got a good haircut and bought some new makeup. You know what, it might seem unimportant to some, but it made a big difference in how I felt.

I also began telling myself I was valuable, good, and loveable. It wasn't easy at first, but after a few days, it felt more comfortable. Today, I can look myself in the mirror and say, " I love you. You are a great person and worth loving," and mean it.

Try that today. I hope it is an easy task, but I think for a lot of us, if not most, it will be harder than you expect. You might be suprised to find you don't love yourself, really.

But, even if it feels false, do it. I'll tell you the truth, the first time I did this exercise, I broke down and sobbed, because I needed to hear those words so badly.

Some of you think you are not loveable, that you have to do something special for God to favor you.

Read the following verses about how God loves:

Deuteronomy 1:17 Do not show partiality in judging; hear both small and great alike. Do not be afraid of any man, for judgment belongs to God. Bring me any case too hard for you, and I will hear it.

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Deuteronomy 10:17 For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes.

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2 Chronicles 19:7 Now let the fear of the LORD be upon you. Judge carefully, for with the LORD our God there is no injustice or partiality or bribery."

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Job 34:19 who shows no partiality to princes and does not favor the rich over the poor, for they are all the work of his hands?

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Acts 15:9 He made no distinction between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith.

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Romans 2:11 For God does not show favoritism.

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Romans 3:29 Is God the God of Jews only? Is he not the God of Gentiles too? Yes, of Gentiles too,

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Galatians 2:6 As for those who seemed to be important--whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance--those men added nothing to my message.

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Ephesians 6:9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

See, God created each of us and loves each of us equally, wants the best for each of us, equally, works in each of our lives, equally. Does this mean we can expect as Christians that our life circumstances will measure equally to all others? Well, in some ways, yes. Read Matthew 5:45

It means that we all may seem different in social status, wealth, opportunities, outer appearance, etc., but each of our lives are marked by joy and pain, blessing and curse, rest and work.

Think about it, you might have thought my life is only marked by blessing, because your only knowledge of me was through my "bio" as a writer, which only talks about the successes, the exterior. Now you know differently. Until this study, you didn't know some of my pain, and I still don't know yours. But, I do know we are joined by the fact that we will both experience sunshine and rain, and we are both created, and loved, by God.

Now, I promised to tell you what the next thing was that helped spark my recovery from depression. What I didn't tell you was that during this time I began experiencing severe anxiety. In addition to the problems with my ex-husband and children, we were simultaneously going through a major financial crisis.

Like so many people, we felt the economic crunch. In 2006 my husband bought another truck and leased it to a friend who was a driver and needed a boost up, and we bought what we thought would be our dream home. Things were good, we thought.

Within three months, our trucking income was cut in half as rates fell to the basement in response to the financial climate. Stores put the brakes on ordering items, manufacturers cut way back, and all this affected the trucking industry. There is a saying, "If you've got it, a truck brought it."

Well, if no one is buying, making, or distributing products, truck's aren't bringing it and we weren't making the money we planned on making before we bought this house!

During this time, I woke up feeling my heart pound in my chest every morning. I felt a strange energy that wouldn't go away, and I just couldn't relax and enjoy anything about my day. Sure, I handled my daily responsibilities and kept a smile on my face for my kids, but inside I was a nervous wreck.

I talked to my son (the one living with his dad) about wanting to get in better shape and he told me, "Mom, just do 10 situps, 10 pushups, and 10 squats everyday. You''ll start to get stronger."

Well, I wanted to please my son, and I did want to get stronger, but 10 of each? I wasn't sure at that time that I could do 1!

I hung up the phone, and I got down on the floor and I did a push-up. Barely. So I rolled over and did 3 sit-ups, and then I stood up and did 5 squats. You know what? I felt just a tiny bit proud of myself.

The next day, and every day after that, I did 5 each of those exercises, and I kept building up until I could do 10, then 15, then 20, and finally I was doing 30 situps, push-ups and squats every day. It wasn't the cure to my anxiety, I will tell you about that tomorrow, but it was the next step in caring for myself that made all the difference.

As a former clinical therapist, I knew that exercise is one of the most effective ways we can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and a host of physical ailments. I knew it, but I still needed someone else to encourage me to do it. Let me encourage you now.

God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Loving yourself is active, remember? He gave us bodies to use, not abuse.

Today I want you to start adding things into your day that will cut down on your feelings of stress.

1. Read this bible study every week-day and look up the verses, and pray aloud the prayers.
2. Do 1, or 3, or 5 or how ever many you can do, each of a pushup, a crunch or a plank, and a squat. For proper form see here http://exercise.about.com/cs/weightlifting/a/bestexercises.htm
3. Buy yourself one new thing, an item of clothing, a new lipstick, a pair of shoes.

Promise yourself you will do this. I guarantee you will feel better this week if you keep your word. Comment to me and let's all be accountability partners to love ourselves this week, with ACTION!

Lord, as we begin a new week, help us to have thankful hearts. Help us to see the small moments of joy instead of the long stretches of anticipation, or struggle. Motivate us to get up and move this week, starting with today. Help us to see anxiety and depression as a message from our hearts that we need to help ourselves, and help us to take action now. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Love, Karen

Photo by .Shock, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

Value

Hello again, I am so glad you have come back to A Good Bible Study. Today our topic is "value." Let's pray first and begin:

Lord, it's not easy to share our stories with others. Help us to be open to each other, and open to You. All change, I have learned, begins with the first step. Let today be the first step in a better life for each person reading this. In the name of Jesus, amen.

I spoke to you yesterday about how desperate, and despondant, I became after a series of "hard knocks." Today I want to share with you the rest of the story. I shared this not to show you what a martyr I am, or how tough I have had it, but so that my painful experience can help you in the midst of yours.

If you came out of a horrible ordeal, and you turned and saw others in the same pit, wouldn't you reach back and lift them out? If you are in that pit, lift up your hand right now.

Lord, see each person raising their hand. I know You do. I believe you are lifting them out of their despair right now, I thank You for the hope you are instilling in their hearts even as they read these words. Father, open their eyes to Your love, and give them right now a spark that will change their lives from now on! In the name of Jesus, we recieve this blessing even now, amen.

Now, back to where we left off. Know that at no point during my experience did I ever "lose" my faith. I knew God was there all along, and sometimes that made what I was going through even harder. I believed God loved me, and His plans for me were good (read Jeremiah 29:11-14.) What I had to come to terms with, was that His plans might not be the what and the how that I invisioned for myself.

His plans might not be the what and how that I invisioned for myself.

At the worst point, I found it difficult to get out of bed. I didn't feel sad or depressed, I just felt so tired. My entire body ached. I began to schedule rest time for my kids in the afternoon, so I could lay down and rest. We moved our lessons to my bed because I was just too tired to work with my children at their desks in the schoolroom we had created downstairs.

I didn't associate what I was feeling with depression, despite the fact that I have a master's degree in clinical psychology and spent years helping others recognize and treat depression. I just thought I was getting older and this was my fate.

A couple of events made tiny differences in my thinking, and eventually made all the difference in my world. The first was a visit by one of my sisters. We had a great time, but there was something she said before she left that hit me like a brick.

She commented on the fact that I made sure everyone else had enough clothes and the things they needed, but I only wore stretchy, comfortable things. I didn't do things that make a woman feel good about herself, like a regular haircut or manicure, fresh make-up, or new clothes. She also shamed us into taking a walk after dinner each night, instead of parking ourselves in front of the television, like usual.

Seeing myself in the eyes of my sister made me realize I didn't treat myself like an adult, a contributing member of our family. I treated my self like a servant, instead of an owner.

I realized that I didn't buy myself clothes because I didn't feel I deserved to "waste" money on clothes at my weight. I didn't get my hair cut because I didn't want to "waste" money on my hair when everyone else needed haircuts, and I can just pull mine back. I didn't want to "waste" money on a manicure, because it seemed so frivolous, and new make-up, well, I still had some left so why buy more? It was only a few years old, anyway.

My sister saw what I didn't. She made me realize that I did not treat myself well at all. In fact, I treated myself as unimportant, unworthy, and un-loved. I didn't love myself and didn't demonstrate to anyone else that I was worth loving. Lucky for me I have a husband and children who felt otherwise!

I decided that even if I was not the weight I felt I "should" be, I deserved proper clothing, a good haircut as often as needed, and once in a while, a manicure was good for the soul and the self-esteem. I worked harder than anyone else in our family at caring for our home, meals, schedules, education, you name it, but I "paid" myself the least. Taking action to care for myself was an important step in my recovery.

God says about me, in Psalm 139 "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." That's straight from God.

I was waiting for someone else to come to me and say, "It's alright for you to value yourself even if it seems no one else does."

I realized finally, that God already said that to me, and expected it of me, and to wait on a human who is usually more interested in their own comfort, than in mine or anyone else's, was to put that person in the place of God.

To let anyone tell us our value is crazy in and of itself. Only God can place value on His creations, and He sent His only Son, to sacrifice His physical life to save me. There is no one of more value to God, than me.

Say it to yourself, out loud: "There is no one of more value to God, than me."

That is true of each of us. God values us each, as if we are the only one. And we are. I am the only one of me. You are the only one of you. We are each irreplaceable and infinitely of value.

Father, open our eyes to the value you place on each of us. That's all I ask. Open our eyes to our innate value. In Jesus' name, amen.

Come back tomorrow and I will share what the next event was that made a difference for me. Until then,

Love, Karen

Photo by Orlando Florin Ruso, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

In the storm

Welcome back to A Good Bible Study!

Let's pray:

Lord, we are talking about change today, and for most of us, change is not an easy thing. Help us to embrace change. Help us to see that we cannot have anything new, if we refuse to let go of the old. Help us to keep what is helpful and good in our lives, and release the things that are not beneficial for us, anymore. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Have you ever felt stuck, trapped, or helpless in your situation in life? Are you in a storm? I have been, and it wasn't easy for me to break free.

I'm a pretty resilient person. I tend to be optimistic, see the glass as half full, look on the bright side, see the silver lining, you get it. But a few years ago I had a series of hard knocks come my way, and after a while, it became more and more difficult to get up, so to speak.

It began with a vicious custody battle over my three oldest children. I felt blindsided . . . betrayed. It was a real test of faith as a young Christian. How do you defend yourself with integrity against someone who seems to have none? I learned the hard way that having God on your heavenly side, does not mean winning every earthly battle.

During the next 8 years, our life was very difficult. There were periods of time when my ex-husband cut off communication with me while he had my children overseas, did not send them for court-ordered visitation, and did a fairly good job convincing my children that they didn't speak to me, or see me, because I had no interest in them. I cannot tell you how desperate I felt, at times.

Soon after, one of my children attempted suicide. I am so thankful God was there, when I could not be! During this same time I was far away in the states, pregnant with a little boy who was in the midst of his own fight for life, inside my womb.

My oldest son was sent home to live with my husband and me shortly after. It was a mixed blessing. What a joy to have my child home again, and how it hurt to see the angry young man he had become. My son was home when Matthew passed away just 25 hours after birth. One child returned, one child departed.

There was no time to grieve for me, and for my two children overseas, it was too hard to connect to, since there was no evidence but photos, that Matthew ever lived.

Life continued on. I hoped that some semblance of peace would resume, but instead we endured seemingly non-stop court filings, manipulation, threats, you know the score. I prayed for the day when all my children would be grown, both for their sake, and for my own.

The final straw for me, the one that broke my emotional back, came just before Christmas, about three years ago. I received a letter from my youngest son, telling me that his father had planned a "once-in-a-lifetime" family reunion over Christmas holidays and would not be sending my son for visitation. 

When the courts took so long to respond that Christmas came and went, again, I literally felt something give in me. That last shred of resolve that I was going to make it through this and come out victorious in some way, at some time, dissipated like fog burning off the water.

I felt like a clock that had been ticking away like, well, clockwork, was now ever so slightly beginning to run down.

I began to slow, each day I felt a little more tired. I woke up aching, and dreading the day. I began to gain weight, first ten lbs., then another, here and here a little more until I was a good 30-40 lbs overweight. Sure, some of it was left-over baby weight, after all, being pregnant 5 times in 6 years takes a toll on anyone. But it was more than that, I was giving up.

I felt like the psalmist in Psalm 88 "A Prayer for Help in Despondency." Read it, after all, may be you are feeling the same now, as I was then.

Then, come back tomorrow and I will share what made the difference for me, and how I was able to restore my faith in myself, and my God, and re-create a happy and healthy life in the midst of the storm, not in spite of it.

Love, Karen

Photo by Starush, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

Surrender or explode

Hello again! I am so glad to see you again today, in A Good Bible Study.

Lord, thank you for each  person reading this. Bless them today in some way so personal, so meaningful, they have no doubt it is You! I praise You and thank You in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Yesterday I told you about an inspiring story I read some time ago about Jada Pinkett Smith, actess and wife of Will Smith. What struck me was that even people who you would think have virtually none of the problems that you and I face, really are no different in the ways that matter.

She had too much on her plate, sound familiar? And God was able to reach her and get her attention in the midst of what seemed only like chaos. She said, "I felt like God was telling me, Surrender or Explode!"

Can you relate? Do you need to surrender, or will you just explode?

"Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

 Matthew 11:29-30 New International Version

Read Jada's story, and comment back how it relates to your life. Until tomorrow,

Love, Karen

Photo by Gleb Semenjuk, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/