The first key to stressing LESS

Hello and welcome back to A Good Bible Study. Let's pray and get right into the Word of God.

Our Father, who lives in heaven, and in our hearts, Your name is holy on our lips. Let Your kingdom rein in me, let Your will be done in me, let me be so malleable to Your will that I respond instantly to Your voice, just as the angels do in heaven. Take care of my needs today, Lord, and help me to have a soft, forgiving heart, like Yours. Go before me Lord, and remove obstacles for me. Let any evil plan formed against me whither and die before it reaches my awareness. For to You belongs this Kingdom, from You comes all Power, and You alone deserve any Glory in this world, or beyond. Thank you Father. In Jesus' name, amen.

During this bible study, I will share with you the three most important keys I have found to reduce stress, and increase joy and satisfaction in life. The first key is called Authenticate.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines authentic as: conforming to fact, and therefore worthy of trust, reliance, or belief.

Do you conform to the fact of who you are inside, and as such do you inspire others to trust you, rely on you, and believe in you?

Living your life authentically means being genuinely who you are, at all times. Sounds easier than it is, if you have been raised to please others at all costs, or tend to feel you don't measure up just as you are. Don't worry. By the time we are through with this study you will have a much more accurate picture of your value both to God, to yourself, and to those around you.

How many of you grew up with all the affirmation you needed to feel valued and loved, all the experiences you needed to develop confidence and competency, all the opportunity you craved to allow your creativity to flourish? Anyone . . . . anyone . . . . anyone. (If you ever watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, you got that.)

I'd be surprised to hear back from more than a tiny handful. That's just not how most of us were brought up because we are each raised not by perfect individuals with whole hearts and complete agape (self-less) love. No, you and I were raised by fallible human beings doing the best they could with the knowledge, resources, and inner strength that they possessed at the time. Bummer.

Guess what, we are raising our children with some of the same problems. Scary.

The good news is that children are able to respond very quickly to a change in our behavior and attitude. They want the best of us and from us, and will accept a new, improved me and you with ease. Other people might take a little time, but believe me, the best way to change the way someone treats you, is to change the way you treat you. All in good time.

Open your bibles to Genesis chapter 1, and read it all the way through.

Do you see that God created more and more complex and wonderful life each day. What did God create on each day?

Day one _________________
Day two _________________
Day three ________________
Day four _________________
Day five__________________

So, He created everything with less intelligence, capability, and creativity in the first six days, saving the best for last. His "p`iece de r'esistance."

Read verse 27.

In whose image were man and woman made? _______________
Strong's Concordance identifies the word image, used in this passage, as the Hebrew word tselem, which means just that: image or resemblance.

Is God unworthy, untalented, lacking, un-lovable, strange, boring, less-than? ______

If you are created in the image, the likeness of God, a resemblance of God Himself, how can you be anything except wonderful? Not a vain, self-centered, arrogant sort of wonderful. But think of it. You and I were designed from the beginning from the "form or molding" of God.

Read verse 31.

"And God saw everything He had made, and indeed it was very ___________. NKJV

Let's pray.

Father, I am so thankful to know that I am not an accident, not some random spark of genetic mutation that somehow created a chain of events leading to me. When I look at myself from now on, let me be fully aware that I am looking at the image of God, no less than when I look at my parents, or my siblings, or my cousins, that I am looking at the image of my family. I might have my parent's features, but I have my Father's genetic design. When others look at me now, I pray they see the family resemblance to You. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Folks, I have an assignment for you tomorrow, that is very important. Instead of reading this study, I want you to get your bible and look up all the verses you can find in which God expresses His value, love, appreciation, or pleasure in humans. Write them down so when you are feeling less-than, you can remind yourself of the truth.

I encourage you to share with each of us in this study, through the comments, what verses mean the most to you. You can just post the verse itself if you do not want to elaborate. Let's learn from one another.

Until Monday,

Love, Karen

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The second step in overcoming depression and reducing stress

Hello again. It's good to see you here in A Good Bible Study.

Did you enjoy your weekend break? It's good to take that time off for the Sabbath, or the "rest" and just re-charge. Let's get started with prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, we bow our heads before You and thank You for providing us with Your Word. Please clear our thoughts, Lord, so we can spend this time with You, instead of our distractions. Open your Word to us and fill our minds with Your wisdom, and our hearts with Your love. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Let's read Proverbs 3:6 together. "________ Him and He will make your paths __________."

Last time we met, I told you about my becoming so downtrodden and depressed, I started giving up on myself and just making it through the day for my family's sake. A couple of things sparked hope in me, or at least a desire to help myself.

One was my sister's visit and her observations about the way I did not treat myself with value. I realized no one else would treat me with value, if I didn't show them how. I had to do it first.

After that, I went out and hit some sales and bought myself some clothes that fit me right then, not for when I lost weight. I also got a good haircut and bought some new makeup. You know what, it might seem unimportant to some, but it made a big difference in how I felt.

I also began telling myself I was valuable, good, and loveable. It wasn't easy at first, but after a few days, it felt more comfortable. Today, I can look myself in the mirror and say, " I love you. You are a great person and worth loving," and mean it.

Try that today. I hope it is an easy task, but I think for a lot of us, if not most, it will be harder than you expect. You might be suprised to find you don't love yourself, really.

But, even if it feels false, do it. I'll tell you the truth, the first time I did this exercise, I broke down and sobbed, because I needed to hear those words so badly.

Some of you think you are not loveable, that you have to do something special for God to favor you.

Read the following verses about how God loves:

Deuteronomy 1:17 Do not show partiality in judging; hear both small and great alike. Do not be afraid of any man, for judgment belongs to God. Bring me any case too hard for you, and I will hear it.

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Deuteronomy 10:17 For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes.

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2 Chronicles 19:7 Now let the fear of the LORD be upon you. Judge carefully, for with the LORD our God there is no injustice or partiality or bribery."

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Job 34:19 who shows no partiality to princes and does not favor the rich over the poor, for they are all the work of his hands?

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Acts 15:9 He made no distinction between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith.

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Romans 2:11 For God does not show favoritism.

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Romans 3:29 Is God the God of Jews only? Is he not the God of Gentiles too? Yes, of Gentiles too,

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Galatians 2:6 As for those who seemed to be important--whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance--those men added nothing to my message.

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Ephesians 6:9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

See, God created each of us and loves each of us equally, wants the best for each of us, equally, works in each of our lives, equally. Does this mean we can expect as Christians that our life circumstances will measure equally to all others? Well, in some ways, yes. Read Matthew 5:45

It means that we all may seem different in social status, wealth, opportunities, outer appearance, etc., but each of our lives are marked by joy and pain, blessing and curse, rest and work.

Think about it, you might have thought my life is only marked by blessing, because your only knowledge of me was through my "bio" as a writer, which only talks about the successes, the exterior. Now you know differently. Until this study, you didn't know some of my pain, and I still don't know yours. But, I do know we are joined by the fact that we will both experience sunshine and rain, and we are both created, and loved, by God.

Now, I promised to tell you what the next thing was that helped spark my recovery from depression. What I didn't tell you was that during this time I began experiencing severe anxiety. In addition to the problems with my ex-husband and children, we were simultaneously going through a major financial crisis.

Like so many people, we felt the economic crunch. In 2006 my husband bought another truck and leased it to a friend who was a driver and needed a boost up, and we bought what we thought would be our dream home. Things were good, we thought.

Within three months, our trucking income was cut in half as rates fell to the basement in response to the financial climate. Stores put the brakes on ordering items, manufacturers cut way back, and all this affected the trucking industry. There is a saying, "If you've got it, a truck brought it."

Well, if no one is buying, making, or distributing products, truck's aren't bringing it and we weren't making the money we planned on making before we bought this house!

During this time, I woke up feeling my heart pound in my chest every morning. I felt a strange energy that wouldn't go away, and I just couldn't relax and enjoy anything about my day. Sure, I handled my daily responsibilities and kept a smile on my face for my kids, but inside I was a nervous wreck.

I talked to my son (the one living with his dad) about wanting to get in better shape and he told me, "Mom, just do 10 situps, 10 pushups, and 10 squats everyday. You''ll start to get stronger."

Well, I wanted to please my son, and I did want to get stronger, but 10 of each? I wasn't sure at that time that I could do 1!

I hung up the phone, and I got down on the floor and I did a push-up. Barely. So I rolled over and did 3 sit-ups, and then I stood up and did 5 squats. You know what? I felt just a tiny bit proud of myself.

The next day, and every day after that, I did 5 each of those exercises, and I kept building up until I could do 10, then 15, then 20, and finally I was doing 30 situps, push-ups and squats every day. It wasn't the cure to my anxiety, I will tell you about that tomorrow, but it was the next step in caring for myself that made all the difference.

As a former clinical therapist, I knew that exercise is one of the most effective ways we can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and a host of physical ailments. I knew it, but I still needed someone else to encourage me to do it. Let me encourage you now.

God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Loving yourself is active, remember? He gave us bodies to use, not abuse.

Today I want you to start adding things into your day that will cut down on your feelings of stress.

1. Read this bible study every week-day and look up the verses, and pray aloud the prayers.
2. Do 1, or 3, or 5 or how ever many you can do, each of a pushup, a crunch or a plank, and a squat. For proper form see here http://exercise.about.com/cs/weightlifting/a/bestexercises.htm
3. Buy yourself one new thing, an item of clothing, a new lipstick, a pair of shoes.

Promise yourself you will do this. I guarantee you will feel better this week if you keep your word. Comment to me and let's all be accountability partners to love ourselves this week, with ACTION!

Lord, as we begin a new week, help us to have thankful hearts. Help us to see the small moments of joy instead of the long stretches of anticipation, or struggle. Motivate us to get up and move this week, starting with today. Help us to see anxiety and depression as a message from our hearts that we need to help ourselves, and help us to take action now. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Love, Karen

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Your stress tolerance level

Hello again, I am so glad to see you back in A Good Bible Study!

Today we are going to get some practical info on why we feel under stress, what it is doing to our bodies, and how we can start feeling much better. Let's pray:

Lord, thank you for giving us the answer, no matter the question. Our days are so filled with important tasks. Please order our day for us, Lord. Make it clear in our minds what is important and what can wait. Help us to focus on our relationships, and not so much on checking off our lists. Help us to focus right now, on Your Word, and let us be changed by the experience. In the name of Jesus we thank you and pray, amen.

Yesterday I introduced you to Dr. Marcelle Pick. She tells us that we all have a Stress Tolerance Level. Some people thrive on stress and the accompanying adrenalin rush, others crumble under the slightest frustration. We've got to know our limits to live in peace and joy.

Read Matthew 6:25-27. Is God saying just let everything go and lay about enjoying the day? No, but I love it that He puts it into perspective a bit when He says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your
life?" New International Version

Now, your stress tolerance level is influenced by the following:

• your support network, or lack thereof
• your sense of control
• your attitude and outlook
• your ability to deal with your emotions
• your knowledge and preparation for situations

Read John 14:1 in which Jesus reassures you "Let not your _______ be ________; you believe in _____, believe in _____ also." New King James Version

Did you know that stress is not just a product of negative reasons, like job loss or being in an argument, but also for positive situations including a move to a new city for a promotion, or planning a 50th wedding anniversary?

Something else to think about is that the main cause of stress is not that you're experiencing danger, or a major life change, work issues, relationship problems, finances, being overly scheduled, dealing with children, or extended family. It's how you think  about those problems. It's internal as well as external and the good news is, you can change the way you think even when you can't change what is happening to you.
Thinking that causes more feelings of stress includes:

• the inability to accept uncertainty
• an attitude of pessimism
• negative self-talk
• unrealistic expectations
• perfectionism
• a lack of assertiveness

Read Psalm 46:1 "God is our ______ and _________, an ever present _____ in _______." New King James Version

So, problems develop when we feel emotionally, physically, financially or otherwise threatened, and our bodies react with the release of hormones including adrenaline and cortisol to give us the energy we need to respond. Our hearts race, increasing blood flow to our muscles, which tighten so we can fight or run, as necessary.

See, most situations that cause a physical stress response, don't require a massive physical output of energy. In fact, inour society, we are criticized for even showing signs of being under stress, even in very stressful situations! Our society values people who remain calm, cool, and collected, or at least can fake it really well. But it's just not realistic to deny we are having problems, nor is it healthy. Letting stress fester in our bodies is extremely damaging to our mental and physical health.

Read Matthew 11:28-30 in which Jesus offers His comfort to us in stressful times. He says, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will _____ _______ ______!"

Dr. Pick asserts that chronic exposure to the stress response leads to sustained high cortisol levels which can:

• destroy healthy muscle and bone
• slow down healing and normal cell regeneration
• co-opt parent molecules needed to make other vital hormones
• impair digestion, metabolism and mental function
• interfere with healthy endocrine function, and lead to
• infertility
• obesity
• heart attack
• stroke
• faster aging
• and weight gain (we've all seen the t.v. commercials, right?)

During this study we are going to continue to search our bibles for God's wisdom in dealing with stress, as well as learn some techniques to change our thinking that will dramatically reduce your daily stress response.
Reading God's Word will relax you, give you wisdom and insight to your  problems, and remind you that the Maker of Heaven and Earth is on your side.

Read Proverbs 12:25 before you go and come back tomorrow to hear an inspiring story about Jada Pinkett Smith, and her own breaking point with stress, and how God made the difference in her response.

Father, I thank You that none of us are alone in our troubles. There is nothing too difficult for You, only to difficult for us to see through, on our own. I am so thankful that when I don't know what is coming next, You do. And I can count on You to see me through whatever it is. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Love, Karen

Photo by Nathalie P, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

The answer is: God.

Hello - welcome back to A Good Bible Study! What a beautiful day to get into the Word and be blessed.

Let's pray:

Lord, I am so thankful that when I fall, you are there to pick me up. Just when I pray to not do something, I notice I shortly after have an opportunity to test my resolve. You promise that when we are faced with temptation, You have already provided the way out, if we will  pay attention and seek Your wisdom. Thank you for the answers, and when we miss the mark, thank you for Your forgiveness and love. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Are you like me? Do you pray about a fault, or an automatic response you have struggled with, and before you know it a prime opportunity presents itself to act on your resolve and bam! Before you know it, you've opened your big old mouth and hurt someone's feelings? I am so glad that God is not holding me up on a set of scales and weighing how many times I have failed before I remember how to respond with His heart, instead of mine!

Read 1 John 1:9. I like the God's Word translation below, as well as my good old New King James version:

"God is faithful and reliable. If we confess our sins, he forgives them and cleanses us from everything we've done wrong."

Amen sisters and brothers! Isn't God good?

We  live in a stressful society with lots of reasons to feel under pressure. The following is excerpted from Ken Boa's article on Bible.org

"More than 18 million Americans are on Prozac. Credit card debt is at the highest level ever, with consumer debt currently standing at $1.4 trillion. According to Lyn Nell Hancock, in 1850, the average person slept nine-and-a-half hours per night. Now, thanks to electricity, the figure is seven hours per night and declining. There are 70 million people with sleep disorders; we live in a society that is “fried by work, frazzled by the lack of time.” Hancock quoted one woman, a mother of four from La Grange, Illinois: “I am so tired, my idea of a vacation is a trip to the dentist. I just can’t wait to sit in that chair and relax.”2 When society has reached the point where people start looking forward to getting their gums scraped and teeth drilled as a refreshing activity, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong."

When we come under repeated pressure, we can crack, blow, implode, dump, or just plain break down. God tells us we while we cannot always choose our situations, we can choose how to respond.

Believe me, God knows about stress. His Word is full of people who under stress, but turned to Him and were eventually victorious, or tried to handle things on their own and experienced the consequences of their poor choices.

David, who God called a "man after God's own heart," knew more about stress than most of us. When he was a boy, he faced a giant in battle, the father of his best friend tried to kill him numerous times, his wife was kidnapped and he had to go on the run for many years living in caves and fighting his way out, because the King placed a bounty on his head - all this because God chose David to replace King Saul as ruler.

David hadn't done anything wrong; he hadn't asked to be chosen as future ruler, and really only wanted to live in peace and praise God with his music, but here he was, forced to live in dirt and under constant attack. He was frequently afraid, angry, and worried about his future. But, read his response in Psalm 31.

Let's pray ourselves:

Father, when we are under stress, when we are angry, afraid, or have been mistreated by those we tried to be kind to, help us remember that while we are just people who are frail, insecure, and afraid, You are God, the Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth. Nothing is too difficult for You. Help us remember that You have the answer, and You are the answer - no matter the problem. In Jesus' name, amen.

Love, Karen

Photo by Stasys Eidiejus, courtesy of http://www.photoxpresscom/

Helping helpers

Hello, it's good to see you here in A Good Bible Study! Let's begin with prayer:

Lord, here we are again, wanting You, wanting to be closer to You and closer to who You created each of us to be. Help us to drop the worries and stressors for these few moments, so You can minister to our spirits and equip us for the day ahead.

We might be tired, we might feel so burdened with our responsibilities, we might have nothing to give right now but our willingness to be refreshed by Your Word. I know that I only need to show up, for with You, all things are possible. In Jesus' name, amen.

I first called this study Stress Inoculation, because it helps you reduce stress before it gets out of hand, kind of like vaccination shot. Gee, wouldn't that be nice if all we had to do was get a little shot once a year, and we could be inoculated against the effects of stress for another 12 months?!

Ahh, hectic schedules would sort themselves into orderly blocks of time; telemarketers would lose our numbers; and annoying interruptions would be a faint memory in the distant past.

Unfortunately, we're out of luck on that one. However, we can make a few small changes to the way we think about our lives and our relationships that, with practice, will make it seem like our load is much lighter.

For now, let's get God's take on stress. Read Isaiah 40:28-31 (New International Version)
     "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
     Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." Write that down somewhere for when you are ready to slap someone silly if they do that thing just one more time.

You know, I believe the people who experience the greatest level of stress are those who make it their job, or mission, to be helpers. A lot of people feel called to help others because of their upbringing.

When you experience trauma or harsh difficulties growing up, it seems to have one of two effects (and sometimes both at the same time): it creates a desire to protect yourself at all costs from financial, emotional, or physical insecurity; or it creates a desire to compassionately help others who are in the same situation that you survived.

Which one are you? Explain:
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________

I responded to my own upbringing with both a difficulty in trusting other people, and also a fierce desire to parent in a way that would give my children no doubt of my love, and in my vested interest in their well-being. I also became a Clinical Therapist, helping adults and children with some of the same problems that I witnessed and experienced growing up.

Some of you are probably helpers, as well. You may not work in a helping field, but you likely have a helping personality. The hardest thing for a helper to do, is learn when it is more helpful to not help, am I right?

The second hardest thing is to know that no matter how you try, some people just don't want to, or are not ready to, be helped. Some times it seems like we see failure after failure, and nothing we do makes any lasting difference.

What in your life seems like a failure? _________________________
_____________________________________________________.

I want you to know that you are making a difference in ways that you might not see for years, if ever. The only way to cope with being a helper is to accept that, and help because you love people, even if you aren't getting the results you want all the time.

Winston Churchill said "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."

I want you to keep your passion and your enthusiasm for helping others, while you also help yourself by reducing stress. Helping others can, and ideally should, come from a joyful, energized spirit, but sometimes all we can do is pray we get through the day without doing more than 3 things we have to apologize for later. The only way to keep giving love out, with joy and longevity, is to fill up with something greater than you. Re-read the verse above.

Let's pray:

Dear heavenly Father, when I am tired and weary, You are not. When I am dry, You can fill me up with Living water. Give me Your strength for the day, Your power. When I stumble and fall, remind me that I can turn to You, and You will renew my strength again.You'll make me feel like I can soar on the wings of eagles, that I can run and never get weary, that I can walk and never get faint. I praise you, Lord Jesus Christ! In Your name, amen.

Love, Karen
 
Photo by Simon Howden, courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Stress LESS

Hello! It is so good to be back in A Good Bible Study with you!


Well, fellow love revolutionaries, we have completed our first mission - to transform. Now, we begin a new focus.


Today we will begin a study is based on a talk I give to corporate groups, employee mental health days, church groups, women's events - you name it, and why? Because we all let stress get the better of us at some time.


And, we all live more joy-filled, effective, and spontaneous lives when we focus on the same three areas of our lives that make a huge difference in reducing the effects of stress, and increase the experience of being in our blessings.


There are many names for these areas, but I call the areas Authenticate, Recuperate, and Activate, and to have real joy and peace, we need to address all three. And we will.


I call this study Stress Less, because that is what it is all about, creating, experiencing and living with less stress. It's a bible study because the source of stressing less is God. His desire is for you to love Him, love others, and to love yourself. Three areas, see?


Loving yourself, remember, is to treat yourself lovingly, which will in effect, decrease stress and increase joy. You can't love yourself without loving God (and receiving His love) and you can't love others without loving yourself. It's a circle and each area affects the other. So we are going to make this easy and make it second nature over the course of the next few weeks.


After the first time I presented this talk at a Tri-County Action/Head Start employee mental health day, I was amazed at how many people responded emotionally, and with such gratitude, for the fact that the talk is infused with scripture, and messages of God's love and intention for each of our lives. And this was a government agency, not a church group I was speaking to. Obviously, no matter what walk of life we are in, where we work, or what we even believe - we need this message!


So, we are going to learn exactly what God says about habits that increase stress, and how He provides the only answer that will create a life that is joy-full and stress-less. Amen to that!


I will leave you today with a quote and a scripture that will set the tone for our continuing series:


Whatever you are going through today, no matter what is leading you to focus on stressful situations, I want you to know that you are never alone, never without resources, never on your own. Read now Jeremiah 29:11-14.


'I know the thoughts that I think towards _____, says the Lord, thoughts of _______ and not _______, to give you a _________ and a __________. Then you will ________ on Me and go and ______ to Me and I WILL _______ to you. And you will ______ Me and _______ me, when you search for me with all your heart. I WILL be ________ by you, says the Lord." (New King James Version)


Is it easy to stop worrying? No, but it is a simple act to change your focus, if that's what you decide to do. Eleanor Roosevelt said "Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product." Meaning, you don't get to happiness without taking action that leads to happiness.


So, how do I change my focus when I am stressed? That's Jeremiah 29:11-14. Seek Him, tell Him, trust Him.


Do you remember what Joyce Meyer said about faith? She said we must choose to believe that God is working on it, even when we don't see an instant change in our circumstances.


Step one- seek God's help, advice, and comfort. Then trust He is working on it.


Until tomorrow - love, Karen


Photo by Andrey Kiselev, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/