Out with the old, in with the new . . .you!

Welcome back to Stress Less: A Good Bible Study. I'm glad you are on this journey with me. Share in the comments, or in an email, how this bible study has impacted your faith walk. It would mean a lot to me to hear your story.

Let's pray:

Lord, thank you so very much for leading us to meet every day and share in Your Word. What a blessing it is to fellowship with others, no matter where their belief is. Thank you for each person reading these words. Bless them today, Lord. Help them to grow closer to You every time they open Your Word. Please relax our minds now and let Your Holy Spirit open our eyes to Your Wisdom, as we begin. In Jesus' name, amen.

I promised you yesterday to share how valuing yourself leads you to naturally make choices that improve your life. The truth is that when you begin to care about yourself, truly decide to be loving to yourself, and value how you spend the 24 hours in each day at your disposal, you will find you no longer are attracted to people who run you down, drain you, criticize you, or waste your time.

You will be more attracted to, and in turn bring in, those people who lift you up and energize you. Your emotional energy just won't match up with those naysayers anymore and they will fall away. Some of them might even notice how much more pleasant and positive you are, and will start to emulate you. Either way, you will naturally move away from negative influences and rise to a new level of friends and companions.

Can you see how this will make your life feel far less stressful? __________

Read Proverbs 12:25-26

What causes anxiety? ____________________

What makes your heart glad? _____________

What happens when you choose negative, mean-spirited friends? __________________________

How about Proverbs 16:27-30

Know anyone like that: those who dig up evil, sow strife, whisper and gossip about others, entice others to bad choices, or treat "friends" perversely, which means starts trouble and fights between them?

I used to draw those types of people to me like a moth to a flame, back in my twenties. They always seemed like the most fun-filled, exciting friends, at first. Like Mr. Wickham, in Pride and Prejudice, they had the happy manners as to ensure their making friends, but it was less certain whether they were equally capable of retaining them.

I used to worry that if I was myself, I would lose friends. May be you worry about that, too. You know what I say to that? Good, I hope you do.

What I mean is that when you are authentic, you will draw people to you who enjoy, love, admire, cherish, and adore your true, authentic self, and those that don't . . . so long . . . seeeee ya.

Dr. Seuss said it best: "Go ahead and be yourself. Those who mind don't matter, and those that matter, don't mind."

Do you think surrounding yourself with people who just get happy being around you, being you, would lead to stressing less? You bet it does!

Self-Value = Stress-Less

Tomorrow I am going to share with you a technique you can use to immediately tell if you, or someone else, is being authentic. It's pretty fun to do with friends. I use this in my talks and it's hard to get everyone settled down again because they are laughing too hard.

Let's end in prayer:

Lord, thank you for opening our eyes to the fact that we can be ourselves and others will appreciate it. Some of us haven't seen our authentic selves since we were kids so we might be a little up and down for a while until we get used to the new and improved, er, original "me." We ask you to make this an easy and inevitable process. Help us to celebrate who You created! In the name of Jesus, amen.

Love, Karen 

Photo by Adam Borkowski, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

Is value the same as conceit?

Hello, and welcome back to A Good Bible Study!

We're going to begin with prayer, as usual:

Dear Heavenly Father, life is so busy. We are all going so fast, in so many different directions, sometimes it is hard to slow down and hear Your voice. Make us sensitive to Your slightest whisper, Lord. We are so thankful for Your Holy Spirit's constant ministry to our hearts, we don't want to miss a single thought You have for us! In the name of Jesus, amen.

We are going to continue with the importance of valuing who you are. We're not talking conceit, here. The American Heritage Dictionary defines value as "to regard highly, to esteem."

Conceit, on the other hand, refers to an unduly high opinion of one's self.

So, I'm not talking about valuing yourself more than anyone else. And I'm not suggesting you refuse to change your bad habits because, "Well, this is just the way I am, if you don't like it, oh well."

What I'm saying is that you are just as valuable as anyone else - and for some of us, that's a new concept.

The fact is you have intrinsic value because you are created in the image of God and you don't have to earn your intrinsic value - it's yours by birthright!

Read 1 John 4:19

Who loved first, you or God? __________

Read Psalm 139:14

How are you made? ___________ and ______________

So, let's agree to stop worrying about what Fred and Jane think because they might like us today and hate us tomorrow. People judge you based on effort, outcome, and results. God judges you on your heart. Do you love Him, or do you hate Him? It's that simple. He asks you to love Him. Will you?

Read Revelation 3:20

Can you doubt that He wants you, just as you are, right now?

Valuing yourself reduces stress because you will also value your time and your contribution. You'll make the effort and time you spend worth it. You will do the right thing, and do things right.

You will do the right thing, and do things right, when you value yourself.

As a result, you will feel more positive about yourself, it's a self-fulfilling chain of events.

Think of it this way: if you know you did your best, and you know you are proud of your work, you won't worry about anyone else's opinion. I don't mean be disrespectful to those offering constructive criticism, I mean you won't have a need to be defensive or make excuses, because you stand behind your work.

Tomorrow we will talk about the other ways being authentic and valuing yourself leads to more positive choices and outcomes, but for now, let's pray.

Lord, some of this is new and challenging to us. We know You want us to respect and love the work of Your hands. Help us to see ourselves with Your eyes, and to see others with the same value. We want to believe with all our hearts that You treasure us just as You designed each one. Thank you for the daily changes You are making in our hearts, so that we can. In Jesus' name, amen.

Love, Karen

Photo by Nathalie P, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

Change starts in the heart

Welcome back to A Good Bible Study. Our current topic is how to "Stress less" by yours truly.

Let's pick up where we left off yesterday, loving ourselves as God loves us. First, let's pray:

Father, we are so blessed to have Your Word. There are Christians in this world who don't have access to a bible, who might be imprisoned or killed just for reading Your Scripture, yet here we are openly sharing our faith, and our desire to know You more. Let not one of us take this privilege for granted, Lord. I pray you will astound us with Your presence today so that we will have an awakening of our spiritual selves,  may be for the first time. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit, Lord. Give us an undeniable sense of You, in us. In Jesus' name, amen.

I shared with you quite a few scriptures showcasing God's love for each of us, you included. I want you to be immersed in the evidence of His concern for you, no matter what has happened in your life. The reason I do this is that before we can even get into who you can be in Christ, or what you can do in His strength, we have got to get a solid foundation in who you are in your hearts.

Why? Because change starts in the heart.

Read Proverbs 23:7

Right there, plain as day, it says as you think in your ______, you are.

See, change doesn't start in the head, it starts in the heart. That's where we live and die everyday, when we're walking around hurting and pretending we're not. When we're saying yes when we mean no. When we are trying to be our idea of the perfect spouse, parent, employee, communicator, rescuer, whatever label people have slapped on your forehead and you are trying to live up to, but always feeling like you don't measure up.

You don't. Know why? Because that's not the mold you were made from. It's not you and that's why it doesn't feel right on your skin.

Dr. Howard Thurman started the first inter-racial church in the United States. He deeply influenced Dr. Martin Luther King. Dr. Thurman said, "We were all born originals. The tragedy is that most of us die copies."

Your DNA is unique only to you.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you."

Psalm 139:13-16 says

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day." The Message
 
Pastor Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, wrote, "Your parents may not have planned you, but God did." Albert Einstein said, "God doesn't play dice." He doesn't do anything by chance.

If you get even a tiny glimpse of how much God loves you, that is when you will begin to value yourself. How do I know? Because people who value themselves arrange their lives to be pleasant and stress-free. It becomes a priority to live in peace and with joy!

Let's pray:

Father, I want everyone reading this to begin to value themselves, the way You value them. I shout this prayer to heaven, in the name of Jesus, amen!

Love, Karen

Photo by Gary, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

Value

Hello again, I am so glad you have come back to A Good Bible Study. Today our topic is "value." Let's pray first and begin:

Lord, it's not easy to share our stories with others. Help us to be open to each other, and open to You. All change, I have learned, begins with the first step. Let today be the first step in a better life for each person reading this. In the name of Jesus, amen.

I spoke to you yesterday about how desperate, and despondant, I became after a series of "hard knocks." Today I want to share with you the rest of the story. I shared this not to show you what a martyr I am, or how tough I have had it, but so that my painful experience can help you in the midst of yours.

If you came out of a horrible ordeal, and you turned and saw others in the same pit, wouldn't you reach back and lift them out? If you are in that pit, lift up your hand right now.

Lord, see each person raising their hand. I know You do. I believe you are lifting them out of their despair right now, I thank You for the hope you are instilling in their hearts even as they read these words. Father, open their eyes to Your love, and give them right now a spark that will change their lives from now on! In the name of Jesus, we recieve this blessing even now, amen.

Now, back to where we left off. Know that at no point during my experience did I ever "lose" my faith. I knew God was there all along, and sometimes that made what I was going through even harder. I believed God loved me, and His plans for me were good (read Jeremiah 29:11-14.) What I had to come to terms with, was that His plans might not be the what and the how that I invisioned for myself.

His plans might not be the what and how that I invisioned for myself.

At the worst point, I found it difficult to get out of bed. I didn't feel sad or depressed, I just felt so tired. My entire body ached. I began to schedule rest time for my kids in the afternoon, so I could lay down and rest. We moved our lessons to my bed because I was just too tired to work with my children at their desks in the schoolroom we had created downstairs.

I didn't associate what I was feeling with depression, despite the fact that I have a master's degree in clinical psychology and spent years helping others recognize and treat depression. I just thought I was getting older and this was my fate.

A couple of events made tiny differences in my thinking, and eventually made all the difference in my world. The first was a visit by one of my sisters. We had a great time, but there was something she said before she left that hit me like a brick.

She commented on the fact that I made sure everyone else had enough clothes and the things they needed, but I only wore stretchy, comfortable things. I didn't do things that make a woman feel good about herself, like a regular haircut or manicure, fresh make-up, or new clothes. She also shamed us into taking a walk after dinner each night, instead of parking ourselves in front of the television, like usual.

Seeing myself in the eyes of my sister made me realize I didn't treat myself like an adult, a contributing member of our family. I treated my self like a servant, instead of an owner.

I realized that I didn't buy myself clothes because I didn't feel I deserved to "waste" money on clothes at my weight. I didn't get my hair cut because I didn't want to "waste" money on my hair when everyone else needed haircuts, and I can just pull mine back. I didn't want to "waste" money on a manicure, because it seemed so frivolous, and new make-up, well, I still had some left so why buy more? It was only a few years old, anyway.

My sister saw what I didn't. She made me realize that I did not treat myself well at all. In fact, I treated myself as unimportant, unworthy, and un-loved. I didn't love myself and didn't demonstrate to anyone else that I was worth loving. Lucky for me I have a husband and children who felt otherwise!

I decided that even if I was not the weight I felt I "should" be, I deserved proper clothing, a good haircut as often as needed, and once in a while, a manicure was good for the soul and the self-esteem. I worked harder than anyone else in our family at caring for our home, meals, schedules, education, you name it, but I "paid" myself the least. Taking action to care for myself was an important step in my recovery.

God says about me, in Psalm 139 "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." That's straight from God.

I was waiting for someone else to come to me and say, "It's alright for you to value yourself even if it seems no one else does."

I realized finally, that God already said that to me, and expected it of me, and to wait on a human who is usually more interested in their own comfort, than in mine or anyone else's, was to put that person in the place of God.

To let anyone tell us our value is crazy in and of itself. Only God can place value on His creations, and He sent His only Son, to sacrifice His physical life to save me. There is no one of more value to God, than me.

Say it to yourself, out loud: "There is no one of more value to God, than me."

That is true of each of us. God values us each, as if we are the only one. And we are. I am the only one of me. You are the only one of you. We are each irreplaceable and infinitely of value.

Father, open our eyes to the value you place on each of us. That's all I ask. Open our eyes to our innate value. In Jesus' name, amen.

Come back tomorrow and I will share what the next event was that made a difference for me. Until then,

Love, Karen

Photo by Orlando Florin Ruso, courtesy of http://www.photoxpress.com/

Show me I have value

Hello again. Thank you for meeting me for A Good Bible Study today!

We are entering chapter five of The Love Revolution Devotional Workbook and Field Journal, by Joyce Meyer. Let's pray for our hearts to be changed by today's message:

Lord, thank you for bringing us together today, to share in Your love and Your wisdom. We ask you to strengthen our love for You today, and for those in our families. Help us to bless someone in our own home today. In Jesus' name, amen.

Let me ask you: has this study brought about any real change in you so far? ______

Are you more of a love revolutionary now, than when you began this study? ________

John and Abigail Adams wrote more than one thousand letters to each other over the course of their lifetimes. They encouraged each other during our nation's most challenging time. In regards to the Revolutionary War, John Adams wrote: "The Revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people; a change in their religious sentiments of their duties and obligations."

His wife, and our second 1st Lady wrote: "You cannot be, I know, an inactive spectator . . . We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them."

What are some things you have done, or begun to plan to do, to move from being an inactive spectator to a love revolutionary?
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
_______________________________________

During the next week, we will focus on ways to make others feel valuable. Don't you love it when someone does something for you that makes it clear they see you as valuable?

Read Philipians 4:8-9

Based on these verses, what are some qualities in your loved ones that you can compliment?

Is there anything true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent,
absolutely anything worthy of praise - find it and make a big ol' sloppy deal over it! God says to practice these things, and the peace of God will be with you.

Want some examples? Here are some examples of the way our family shows value to one another.

• I love it when my husband has paid attention to my likes and dislikes. He usually buys me flowers to show his love, and I feel especially important when he buys me my favorites, instead of his.
• On birthdays, I make the special person breakfast in bed, their choice, and they also get to choose the dinner menu.
• We pray over each child every night thanking God for their presence in our home and family, and asking for help with any particular problem that child is experiencing.

I look forward to hearing what you do to make the people in your family feel valuable. Put them in the comments section, below, or email them to me.

Love, Karen

Photo by AndreyPS, courtesy of Photoxpress.com