Let's pray as we prepare to receive God's Word:
Father, thank you for this time to come together and share your Word. Thank you for giving each of us the insight we need to experience you more. I pray for each person participating in this study, that each day the burning desire of our hearts is "More, Lord, more of You!" In Jesus' name, amen.
By now you are probably getting some thoughts that just seem to come up over and over regarding ways you can show love. Please share in the comments box below what things God is asking you to do, or in what ways you have responded to the call to love. I can't wait to hear what you've been up to!
In this section of the study, Joyce asks us to journal our "Love Revolution." I'll share what I've written:
I realize that while I might want a "mutually satisfying" marriage, there really is no such thing. We have this concept in modern times, that we are making a bargain with our spouse, a bargain that ensures we will each get enough from the other, to make us happy in the marriage.
That's what I want out of marriage now, mutual satisfaction, but that isn't what I agreed to when I got married. When I married my husband, we talked about the various things we each wanted from the other, and we married in agreement of giving those things to each other. So, what happens when what I want changes? Is he obligated to fulfill my new desires, or am I bound to ask for no more than he committed to in the beginning?
My husband and I recently went through a period of time in which we realized we had each, in our own way, been operating under assumptions about each other, and as a result, neither of us was being really honest about our needs. It's difficult to make changes, and the first response is usually to blame the other person for not meeting our needs, instead of accepting the responsibility to first discover our needs, then share that information, and ultimately, do what needs to be done to meet the needs of . . no, not each other so much, but ourselves.
I can blame my husband for putting too much on my plate, but at the end of the day the only person who makes my schedule is me. He can be angry with me for not affirming him in his "love language," but if he hasn't let me know what's important to him, I'm going to keep on doing what I think is right.
What God has been whispering into my heart, is that I can only fulfill my end. If my husband is not loving me the way I want him to, all I can do is be honest with him, and then let God work out what needs to be changed. If I know I have, with kindness and firmness, let my needs be known, then I have done all I can at that point. I can get out of the way and let God work, or I can keep bringing it up over and over until my husband is determined not to change just to show me who's the boss of him. God reminded me that I am only in charge of my portion: my behavior.
This mutually satisfying relationship is a myth. Sometimes he's satisfied, sometimes I'm satisfied, sometimes we hit a sweet spot and we're both pleased as punch, but that's more often than not, few and far between. If I am looking for my husband to keep me happy I am going to be a disappointed woman a lot of the time, and vice/versa.
God told me this is a sign of strength, not weakness. Let's be clear: I'm not talking about tolerating abuse. I'm not talking about being a miserable doormat. I'm talking about being able to be loving to someone without waiting for them to satisfy us, first.
God tells us to submit to one another in love. That means willingly putting aside your own desires and thinking of how you can make your spouse's day with kindness, taking pleasure in letting your husband or wife have their way, this time. It doesn't mean "you first."
Think on that; I am! And please, share your own journey with us. After all, we are in this together. With love till tomorrow, Karen
Photo by Digimist523, courtesy of photoxpress.com
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