When kids don't forgive

This is for kids and their parents (who used to be kids). It's an excerpt from the 2nd Edition of Brain Retrain: The How-To Renew Your Mind Guide.

Your parents may never recognize how they’ve hurt you. They may never apologize. But, if you’re a believer, forgiving them is non-negotiable (Matthew 6:15, NKJV). 

Forgiveness frees you from taking up mental real estate with feeling bad about your past with them and allows God to take that burden on your behalf. 

He knows what to do and when to do it. He can do something about what you can do nothing about. Take what you wish your parents would do, and do it for your own kids. 

Apologize when they say you’ve hurt them. They’re not saying you meant it (and if they do - forgive them if they’re mistaken). They’re saying they had an experience they associate with you, so just tell them you’re sorry without explaining, justifying, denying, or minimizing. 

That’s all they want to hear and what will help them heal: “I’m so sorry I hurt you.” It’s not about your memory, intentions, or reasons - it’s about acknowledging their experience so they can be heard or seen and move on - in their timeline, not yours.

If you sincerely apologize and your kids don’t let it go, keep the door open while you give them space. Ask God to remove any root of bitterness and to heal all wounds (Hebrews 12:15, ESV). 

Finally, permit yourself to feel joy, even if everything isn’t resolved. Sometimes others more easily move on when they see we’ve made steps in that direction ourselves.

Order your 2nd Edition soon (God willing) from thebrainretrain.com or from Amazon.com.

#Dr.KarenLiddell, #thebrainretrain, #womeninministry, #forgiveness, #God, #parents #mykidswon'ttalktome, #teenanger, #agingparents, #healing, #renewyourmind