Wednesday, December 28, 2016

God's Unique Differences Between Men and Women

Guided by the "powers that be" in the media, the Feminist Movement, and the cultural push towards blending of sexual identity, the roles of men and women become more confusing every decade. There is an identity crisis, for sure, however, it has nothing to do with gender-swapping; it has everything to do with rejecting the wonderful differences with which God purposefully and intentionally created us.

 Our God-given Temperament reflects, and equips us to celebrate, our individuality and our differences, but our sex-linked similarities enable us to rejoice in knowing ourselves as uniquely male or female, as a group. There is a comfort, security, and camaraderie between men and women when we recognize that while we are all human beings, there are basic strengths in our differences that create a unity that isn’t attainable any other way.

 Now, before the ruckus begins, yes, due to differences in levels of sex hormones during prenatal development, cultural gender expectations, and parental influences, there are variations on those male-female specific differences: for example, men who are more relationship-oriented than task-oriented, and women who would rather break a finger than ask for directions; men who enjoy more traditional female interests and vs.vs. for women.

However, there are also irrefutable basic biological, physiological, and emotional differences between men and women that absolutely result in consistent typical traits. In fact, we have been designed this way by the Creator Himself! “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” There was purpose in His creation, a reason to make us of one flesh, but also unique, compatible, and complementary. Scientists have described these sex-specific generalities as following:

Emotional Differences:
  • Men tend to establish relationships with other men based on respect. Women tend to build their relationships on close, intimate friendship.
  • A man’s sense of self-worth, identity and feelings of masculinity are derived from his work; a woman’s self-worth is derived from her relationships.
  • Men tend to be more rigid than women, which presupposes them to deny their own weaknesses, making them ill-equipped to feel sympathy for another’s  pain or weakness.
  • Men tend to equate asking for help as a sign of weakness; women consider asking for help as a shortcut for getting the job done.
  • Men tend to create a “thinking bypass” by changing one feeling into another in an attempt to replace feelings with thought and logic. And example would be acting angry when they are feeling hurt or fearful.
  • Men tend to express anger by either yelling and condemning, or by inflicting the “cold-silence treatment” toward the source of their frustration.
  • Men tend to avoid expressing their emotions, their rationalities, their weaknesses or their fears because they equate these as feminine traits and therefore a threat to their self-esteem; women make no such connection and freely express these inner emotions to others.
  • Men tend to [profess] that they prefer dogs over cats because dogs are loyal, obedient, and submissive, which are qualities men value, whereas cats are aloof, independent and cannot be controlled.
  • Men possess a natural inner masculine drive to pursue, conquer, and protect: women manifest a natural urge to organize, build a home, and procreate.
  • Men tend to give a reward for performance; women tend to give love unconditionally.
  • Men tend to give intimacy to procure sex; women tend to give sex with the goal of gaining intimacy.
Biological/Physiological Differences:
  • Men are unable to utilize both sides of the brain simultaneously the way women do, due to higher levels of testosterone during prenatal development resulting in an altered brain structure, therefore men tend to focus without being distractible.
  • Women do have higher levels of intuition due to their intact nervous system connections between both hemispheres of the brain. Women “multi-task.”
  • 75% of men are left-brained oriented, causing them to think in analytical, sequential, and rational means. The more left-brained a man is, the less he will comprehend or desire to comprehend emotions and feelings.
  • Due to differences in brain function, men tend to communicate in a facts and information exchange, whereas women tend to communicate utilizing emotional information.
  • A man’s skin really does tend to wrinkle later in life than does a woman’s. (So unfair.)
Part of the conflict between men and women is based on these basic differences. Women expect things from a man that he may not be capable of giving, and men make demands upon women that she might be unable to provide. The result is anger, hurt feelings, and unmet expectations. (This is particularly important in the relationship between a girl and her father from whom she seeks to discover if she is beautiful, worthy, and acceptable, just as she is.)

Understanding and accepting these basic differences, then going deeper by discovering our God-given Temperament*, equips and enables us to accept one another as being different, but not bad, wrong, or in need of fixing!

 In fact, we can see how our differences help us make a Whole when we join together in cooperative teams, in marriage, in parenting, and in the Church Body. Rather than looking for ways to criticize, down-play, deny, or even mock our differences, choosing to believe the other sex is inherently wrong, damaged, or merely a culturally-created manifestation, we can give one another permission to be who we are, even if who we are is more traditional, and less unisexual, than some would like.

*If you would like to have your own Temperament Analysis Profile completed, contact me through this blog to set up an apt. and I will send you a link to answer the necessary questions online, then I will complete your report and email it to you within 24 hours. Testing and reports are $75 for adults, $80 for teens and children (contains an extra report in child/teen-friendly language plus a complete report for parents with parenting suggestions based on your child's temperament.) Payment by PayPal.

Resource: The Innate Differences Between Males and Females, Dr. Donald Joy;
Why Did Daddy Disappoint Me (Always Daddy’s Girl) H. Norman Wright
(in The Father-Daughter Connection, MariLouise Rust, MA)

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